restless souls of youth: enjoy Superman?

A few weeks ago I watched Superman Returns for the first time... didn't really have a desire to see it - but i really enjoyed it... i think i enjoyed it so much because it brought back memories of my father and i going to see Superman: the movie and Superman II in this theatre nicknamed the 'rat palace'* in Mt Gilead, Ohio back in the day. Returns wasn't up to the same par as Batman Begins, and it had a ton of plot holes - but in my mind, that was forgiven. i look forward now to Man of Steel in 2009.

funny thing, my 4 year old and 2 year old loved Superman Returns. that compelled me to pick up this: Super Friends - The Legendary Super Powers Show. Anybody remember that cartoon from the 70's + 80's? now we are all enjoying that.

I've now discovered Superman: The Animated Series on ToonDisney and have DVR'd a few of those now. The first episode is much like Superman: The Movie... with Superman as a baby on Krypton... before it explodes... and he is then sent to earth. Addison (my 2 year old) loved watching 'baby Superman'. It brings me pure joy to watch them enjoy something that was a big part of my childhood as well. I think it's time to introduce them to Star Wars next.




*ironically, my first ever date was at that same 'rat palace' in Mt. Gilead... her name was Jenny Shroyer... I was 11. We went to see Supergirl.



----------------
Now playing: Squarepusher - Tommib

On A Lighter Note:

75 Minutes

i loath it.
loading the pop machine.
hate it.
despise it.
no like it.

but i gotta do it. 'bout once a month... if i'm keeping it full.
the youth group has a pop machine... sort of a fundraiser for us... we usually can make about .20 - .25 cents per can. we sell the pop for .50 cents. not in it to rip people off so we keep it cheap.

so in order to keep it filled i gotta do the following:
1. watch the sale ads for our local grocery chain (Giant Eagle)
2. go down to said store and buy the pop (or soda for you easterners).
3. since they usually limit the amount of pop you can buy, return to said grocery store and/or take your wife to the grocery store and buy more pop.
4. repeat step 2 & 3 as needed.
5. load pop into van.
6. unload pop out of van.
7. carry pop down the long hall, up the stairs (either two 24-packs or four 12-packs at a time) to the pop machine. our church doesn't have an elevator... so tough luck to any handicapped people (or those who have to carry 10-20 cases of pop upstairs... not that my plight is more challenging than someone who might be handicapped. to think so would be selfish and stupid. right? right.)
8. unlock pop machine - empty money and begin to load pop machine.
9. take cardboard from the pop boxes and dispose of properly.
10. cycle quarters through machine, making sure that each of the six flavors of pop (Pepsi, Mt. Dew, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Minute Made Lemonade Light, Sierra Mist) vend properly.
11. inevitably there will be either a leak or a spraying of some sort of pop. clean up pop-like syrup from leaky can.
12. figure out which type of pop is leaking.
13. cycle through that brand of pop until you find the can with the crack, leak or hole. dispose of that can and re-reload that brand of pop again.
14. 75 minutes later, sit down and enjoy complimentary can of pop.

I am ready to call the Pepsi man and have them put in one of their machines... we'll make less money - but hey - I wouldn't complain.

p.s. why did i blog this? i don't know... but then again, it's not like i blogged about THIS (bryan!1!11!)

love peace chicken grease

giving in

the month of september has brought some minor changes to our lifestyle. #1, jen and i started using the YMCA more than we have since last winter (almost daily). We've also both been running a lot... training for a 5k on Oct. 20th. in September I ran about 30 miles... and i hope to see that pattern continuing in future months.

we've also started eating better - avoiding fast food all together, eating healthier meals at home and avoiding unnecesary late night snacking. well, this weekend - we had to do some traveling - which forced us to eat two meals at fast food restaurants... and then tonite - i gave in after Youth Group and had to have some Taco Bell... giving in... not good. my body didn't want it, but my mind just kept repeating: taco, burrito (what's coming out of your speedo?) somehow - my mind won that battle of the wills.

i hope this week gets me back on track. that is the plan.

self control is hard. discipline is a challenge...
what would discipline be if it weren't difficult? what would be the point...

place in this world

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19...




inspired by: Boards of Canada - Dayvan Cowboy (Odd Nosdam Remix)

more to him / knowledge

This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

-the Gospel of John 21:24-25

+++

so many things unknown. stories untold... wisdom not shared with us... it's kind of awe-inspiring. oh to be John... to know Jesus like he did...

but His grace is enough. head knowledge vs. heart knowledge? the longest half-yard... from the head down to the heart.

it's the heart that matters most.

Jesus said: The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to us...
... the knowledge of salvation is in our hearts...
... and lastly, knowledge without mercy and grace and kindness and forgiveness gets you nowhere... fast.

There is so much more. may our quest for love (of man + Jesus) trump our love for knowledge... every time.

sanctitatis

Vere Sanctus es, Domine Fons omnis sanctitatis, Domine

Truly, Lord, you are the Holy One, the fountain of all holiness.




inspired by Future of Forestry: Sanctitatis (YouTube)

so fresh and so clean

new things to see and look at. you've noticed, eh?

it was time for a change. the season, even though it feels like July has changed from summer to fall. the leaves will change when the warmth gives way to the rain soon.

it was time for a change.

we all need change. some fear it - but the newness of change is somewhat exhilarating, isn't it?

alas - i have changed my blog. i really like the new look. 'tis something to be proud of. now, let's hope that it will be incentive for me to blog regularly. i pray that the juices will flow... that my internal creative expressions will not be contained - but shared with one and all.

i am coming up on my three year anniversary of blogging. i hop this will be my most inspired year yet.

embrace newness today - and face the world with gladness.
...

out of nothing

the beauty of music is that a song, any song can mean a hundred different things to a hundred different people. and although it may not be the intent of the artist a song can speak to any of us in ways that artist couldn't have imagined.

to me, the YOU in this song is temptation. the I'LL SAY GOODBYE is me overcoming it all.

enjoy.



Out of nothing you came to my arms and you're right
I fell every time
You're the first and the last time that I'll ever try
So dry your eyes, I'll say goodbye, I say goodbye...

I'm left hanging like all dancing bears
I need rope to keep me in line
I can't stop them, there's more bombshells coming
I choke
More words, more lies
I'll say goodbye, I'll say goodbye...

I can't believe its come to this
Banging on a sinking ship, hoping someone hears my list
For every trial I take a fall, you never notice it no more
What we had won't conquer all
While the shots still ringing out
You do the worst to bring me down
You do the worst to take me out
I'll say goodbye, I'll say goodbye...













Embrace - Out of Nothing [sound bytes]

YouTube video of the songs dramatic conclusion (live @ Leads)

new

"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-20

Call to Worship

belief

52:10

benediction

water

what is your favorite quality of water?

A Day in the Life: Downtown Canton

unique

Who were you uniquely made to be?

muse

Main Entry: ¹muse Pronunciation: 'myüz Function: verb Inflected Form(s): mused; mus·ing 1 : to become absorbed in thought; especially : to turn something over in the mind meditatively and often inconclusively 2 archaic : WONDER, MARVEL transitive verb : to think or say reflectively synonym see PONDER - mus·er noun

Main Entry: ²muse Function: noun : a state of deep thought or dreamy abstraction

Main Entry: ³muse Function: noun 1 capitalized : any of the nine sister goddesses in Greek mythology presiding over song and poetry and the arts and sciences 2 : a source of inspiration; especially : a guiding genius 3 : POET
--------

what are you thinking about? anything at all? what are your dreams? do you share them or keep them to yourself? do you write them down? keep a mental checklist in your brain? post them on the fridge for the world to see? do your thoughts or dreams make you feel free? what does freedom look like to you? do you think your musings are of value or that anyone, someone would gain anything, something from reading such thoughts? do you feel like you are free to express yourself? are you satisfied? who or what has squelched your dreams? what circumstances make you feel like you are nothing? why is it hard for you to feel the truth that you are unique? does your mind wander? where does it go? where does it take you? do you follow sheepishly or ambitiously? do your dreams, thoughts, musings scare you?

Express yourself. Be free.

click here: Freedom. Expression. Project. (an experiment)

Stg. Pepper + Pet Sounds

a few years ago - i took some birthday money and set it aside - to be used for something really important. i had always wanted to pick up some classic albums on CD if, for no other reason than for prosperities sake. The first two albums i purchased were The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1966) and then The Beatles - Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)

both albums were recorded and released within a year of each other. Sgt. Pepper was said to be a response to what Brian Wilson did with Pet Sounds. Both albums exuberantly convey a creative, ground breaking sound that, at the time, broke many taboos and set in place new trends in popular music. Brian Wilson's multi-layered vocal mixes from the Pet Sounds sessions are still nothing short of extraordinary. This album separated the Beach Boys from the surf rock stereotype and stands alone in their catalogue of music.

While tension between Paul McCartney and John Lennon was beginning to show for The Beatles, Sgt. Pepper proves to be a masterpiece of creativity. McCartney was at a high point (and his songs reflect that) while Lennon was a bit lower (with his songs reflecting that as well). Listen to Pepper and see if you can figure out who wrote what lyrics.

Key tracks (Pet Sounds): Wouldn't It Be Nice, Sloop John B, God Only Knows, Caroline No

Key Tracks (Sgt. Pepper): title track, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Fixing a Hole, A Day in the Life

If you are a music connoisseur you need these two albums in your collection. Listen to them. Admire them. Let them inspire you.


List of Rolling Stones 500 Greatest Albums of all time (note #1 & #2 on the list)

making a playlist

there is a certain satisfaction that accompanies the building and creation of a playlist. the searching out of just the right songs... weeding out the good and the bad... organizing the track listing... meshing the right songs back to back - in attempts to create seamless playback... and then the anticipation of that first listen.

it feels good to create.

admit it.

and yet life is like the playlist... we spend a lot of energy getting our track listing set, so to speak... wanting things to be perfect so that our future will be bliss... but the beauty of the playlist is that is can be constantly adjusted and changed and corrected on the fly. life is the same. we never have to be content. we weren't designed to be content.

God sees the bigger picture. He sees how our 'songs' will mesh. he guides us and revels in our creations - with hopes that we will revel in His. we are his pride and joy - and if our eyes are opened we see that He is our joy as well.

life is a playlist. live it out... play it loud.





tentative title [Journey into the Morn]
SONG ... ARTIST
Intro … Trespassers William
Just Because … Jane's Addiction
Well Thought Out Twinkles … Silversun Pickups
Bloodhounds On My Trail … Black Angels, The
Seaside … The Kooks
Today … I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
Starlight … Muse
Way Back Home … Starsailor
A Place in Displacement … South
The Information … Beck
Holy Calamity (Bear Witness II) … DJ Shadow
Halfway Home … DJ Shadow
The Number Song … DJ Shadow
Fractions … Decoder Ring
Losing Color … Idiot Pilot
Paperbag Writer … Radiohead
This Is Not A Test … Radio 4
It Would Have Happened Anyway … Mogwai
Hush … Soular
Big Love [Live] … Lindsey Buckingham
Razor … Foo Fighters
Fare Thee Well … The Innocence Mission
St. Augustine … Band Of Horses
Jerusalem, My Happy Home … Ralph Stanley
Sinthtro … The Dears
Scattered Black and Whites … Elbow
Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) … The Beatles
New … 100 Portraits
It's O.K. … Delirious?
Closer … Travis
RM - RF/ … Decoder Ring
The Boxer … Simon & Garfunkel
Spark … Over The Rhine
The Maker … Daniel Lanois
Outake 2: Sixty Seconds In Kingdom Come … U2
Our Secrets … Helen Stellar
The City Lights … Umbrellas
Into The West … Pilate
You Are My Joy … Reindeer Section
Salvation … Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Comforting Sounds … Mew
Polybackwards … Gus Gus

THE TEN: things googled this week

10. William Blake - Introduction to Songs of Experience (also: U2 - Beautiful Ghost / Introduction to Songs of Experience)
9. Pablo Escobar (and the fictitious film Medellin)
8. Kid Brothers of St. Frank (Rich Mullins tribute/info)
7. Northern Ireland
6. Definition of Sanctity
5. Yuri Gagarin (Russian Cosmonaut - 1st man in space) (also: featured in lyric in the song Mercury by The Prayer Chain - from the landmark album of the same title... a must have for any and all music guru)
4. Map of New York City
3. The History of the Relocation of Professional Sports Teams
2. Psalm 137 (read it all... don't skim over it)
1. Facebook (my new obsession?)

"feel"

"How do you feel close to God? I don't know. Read about the great saints, they didn't always feel close to God. Check out the Psalms - David often felt far away from God.

Closeness to God is not about feelings.
Closeness to God is about obedience.

I don't know how you "feel" close to God... and those that are close to Him don't know anything about those feelings either.

Obey - occasionally the feeling follows, but not always."

-Rich Mullins

6:46pm - July, 21, 2007

A cool breeze.
A melancholy spirit.
Green grass with weeds a plenty.
White puffy clouds.
A sparrow makes music.
Shadows and tall trees.
A stillness abounds.
Children play.
Distant, muted sounds.
An iPod plays instrumental bliss in my left ear.*
The wind picks up.
Refreshment.
A summer Saturday evening.
Blue sky overhead.
My 4 year old rides his bike.
Tiredness overcomes me.
Hide and seek across the street.
A cook-out near by.
Soaking it in.
Seeking grace, trusting instincts.
It's 6:46PM, July 21st, 2007.
And God is in this moment.

momentary pause for clarity

clarity... a state of being clear. a silent lucidity. a presumed capacity to perceive the truth directly and instantaneously. peace. stillness after the whirlwind. a search for hope after a door creaks closed... or is that just my perception? maybe God is teaching me a lesson about seeing His faithfulness, even through the cracks of a door not yet sealed. hope is always present in the light. and the light seeps through...


in the late 1930's, pre-World War II, a Navy submarine was doing dive testing off the New England coast. War was inevitable and the U.S. was already in the midst of secret underwater U--boat attacks. Failure of the main induction valve caused the flooding of the after torpedo room in the Squalus, both engine rooms, and the crew's quarters, drowning 26 men immediately. Quick action by the crew prevented the other compartments from flooding. Squalus bottomed in 40 fathoms (73 m) of water. Here's the rest of the story:

The Squalus was stuck on the bottom of the harbor off the New Hampshire coast. It seemed that all was lost. There was no electricity and the oxygen was quickly running out. In one last attempt to rescue the sailors from the steel coffin, the U.S. Navy sent a ship equipped with Navy divers to the spot on the surface, directly above the wounded submarine. Squalus was initially located by her sister ship, Sculpin (SS-191). The two submarines were able to communicate using a telephone marker buoy until the cable parted. Divers from the rescue ship Falcon, under the direction of the salvage and rescue expert Lieutenant Commander Charles B. "Swede" Momsen, located the submarine. A Navy diver went over the side of the ship to the dangerous depths in one last rescue attempt. The trapped sailors heard the metal boots of the diver land on the exterior surface, and they moved to where they thought the rescuer would be. In the darkness they tapped in Morse code, "Is there any hope?" The diver on the outside, recognizing the message, signaled by tapping on the exterior of the sub, "Yes, there is hope." He then proceeded to respond, tapping out these letters in Morse code. "J-E-S-U-S C-H-R-I-S-T"




Hope creeps in and rears its head at just the right moment... for those who believe and trust and obey. And hope does not disappoint us... because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. [Romans 5:5]

The waters are stilled. If they are stirred it will be His doing, not mine... and I shall respond. Clarity gives me hope. One way or the other - i will be diligent. I hope for a clear answer. I trust it will come.

what a process this has been.




*Divers were later able to rescue all 33 surviving crew members from the disabled submarine. Four enlisted divers earned the Medal of Honor for their work during the rescue and subsequent salvage.*

state of...

i am in a state of something... my mind is filled. can not concentrate. living amidst the whirlwind. three weeks + and still it whirls. somewhere there's a playlist in this moment. that would make it all better... that would answer all the questions. wake me when it's over. surely God will light the path for this journey.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, ^[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

1GL

$$$

who owns who?
a blessing and a curse.

io

inspired by the song Io by Helen Stellar
(featured on the Elizabethtown soundtrack)

a fresh rain fell today

a fresh rain fell today
after 10 days of sun.
it was cool and refreshing.

the birds of the air,
they are making music
showing appreciation
and giving thanks for the bath and the drink.

nature has its purpose.
perfect symmetry.
it gives. it takes. it provides. it needs.
can this be random?

God is in the falling rain.
He is in the songs of praise
from the nesting birds.

He is the symmetry.
the synergy.
the energy.
the supremacy.

he is the beauty of Monet
and the lyrics of Bono.
He speaks through:
the silver screen,
the small screen,
the LCD screen.
the iPod and the FM dial.


He is the joy of children
laughing; the peace of
a quiet stream. the
patience of a grandmother;
the gentleness of a summer breeze.

most of all He is love.
a personified love that is
known within the hearts
of all mankind... rejected and accepted.

His love is His creation.
His creation is us.

A fresh rain fell today
and i experienced God.

free

a self portrait of randomness

Not a fan of death… it’s so… final.
I’m tired.
Don’t know how to feel.
I miss the small things.
I somewhat feel guilty that I had (for God knows why) thoughts about my dad dying about a month or two before.
Fears come and go.
Less today than yesterday.
But it has forced me to put things in perspective.
Take nothing for granted.

Covetousness.
Big word. Big problem, presumably.
I’t’s too easy to lust after that which isn’t mine – or that which I'd like to own.
A home. Video equipment. More music (cuz I don’t have enough?)
I have never gotten used to the fact that I will never make money as long as I’m working in ministry.
But I don’t do it for the money… I’d be a fool, otherwise anyway.
I am thankful for the passion God has given me for youth ministry and creative worship.

It appears we have some ‘suspicious’ neighbors.
A few are teenagers – one with a banged up car with no muffler – who likes to leave 2 or 3 times a night, usually between 1 and 3 am. He’s gone for 10 minutes and returns.
It should be against the law to drive a car without a muffler.
‘sweet’ smelling smoke is often looming. it blows in through our window fan.
The other day, the inhabitants were partying at a children’s park (behind their duplex – beside our house) – alcohol and all… on the playground, mind you.
is it even any of my business?
They kind of avoid us…

I was on hold for 40 minutes today.

Nothing compares to listening to a favorite album that you haven’t listened to in a while.
This evening, The Joshua Tree brought me great joy.

I want to run.
I want to hide.
I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside.

Bliss.

(from melancholy to bliss... a self portrait that gives thanks to God for that which is beautiful)
LIFE is beautiful
MUSIC is beautiful
OPPORTUNITY is beautiful
I am beautiful (even when the lilly's don't look pleasing to the eye...)

i live

If you had permission to do what you really wanted to do, what would you do? Don't ask how, that will cut your desire off at the knees. How is never the right question; how is a faithless question. It means "unless I can see my way clearly I won't believe it, wont venture forth."

...How is God's department. He is asking you what.

What is written on your heart? What makes you come alive? If you could do anything you've always wanted to do, what would it be?

A man's calling is written upon his true heart, and he discovers it when he enters the frontier of his deep desires.

...Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive because what the world needs are men (and woman) who have come alive.
[excerpt taken from john Eldredge - Wild at Heart]




DO THAT
WHICH MAKES YOU
come
ALIVE







LIVE.

a live

live [verb] 1: to be alive 2: to continue on 3: to dwell
live [adjective] 1: having life
live [adverb] 1: at the actual time of occurrence

what does it mean to survive?
choice: exist or live.

true living? follow Christ. receive your gift.

full. not empty.

embrace risk.

kick.

tornado stories

a massive F5 tornado ripped through Greensburg, Kansas on the evening of May 5th. reports say that 95% of the town has been destroyed. everything has been destroyed. this is mind boggling. at this point 9 people are confirmed dead.

i am particularly drawn to this story because the town in which i spent my youth was also ravaged by a tornado. the date was June 13, 1981. Early in the afternoon that Saturday a category 3 (max. wind speeds 158-206 mph) tornado 0.4 miles away from the Cardington city center killed 4 people and injured 56 people and caused between $5,000,000 and $50,000,000 in damages. the entire downtown of the small town of Cardington was destroyed - as were hundreds of homes - including an entire trailer park.













[downtown Cardington... more photos]

i remember seeing a mobile home literally wrapped around a tree. i was 7 years old at the time. my other memories include having a hard time sleeping - because of the lack of electricity and the loud noises of machinery and generators outside our house. Our church next door served as a soup kitchen and shelter for many weeks following.

i still have a t-shirt that reads I Survived the Cardington Tornado - June 13, 1981.

so yesterday, while listening to The Maxwell Show on WMMS 100.7 in Cleveland they were talking about the Greensburg tornado so I called in to discuss my own tornado experience. You can listen to that segment HERE [i'm the first caller... approx. 4 min 50 sec. in]. I said "hey, i lived through a tornado..." later he asked me me where i was at the time and i said "we weren't home at the time at the time the tornado touched down..." i didn't clarify that we were nearby at my grandma's house... but anyway - some guy (the third caller) said "what was that first caller thinking - saying he lived through a tornado - but he wasn't home at the time.".

well i still lived through it and the tornado tore up our town.... i didn't think much of it at first - then my wife started laughing - saying i got called out on the radio! then i couldn't stop thinking about it... i wanted so bad to call back and set the record straight so that i wouldn't look bad... but we were heading to Wal Mart... we needed ground turkey and a golf glove. so all through Wal Mart i started thinking about what i could have said. i guess this goes to show that little things can eat away at a man's ego.

to prove this fact - maybe that is why i have gone to great lengths to research the Cardington tornado - as if to validate my story that i told on the radio.

ego and tornado's... to powerful things that can destroy many...

the slam

Dead man walking.
Life loved. Life given. Life breathed...
But dead in sin. Made alive through the bridge
- the bridge leads to life - true life, not deceived life.
The bridge is Jesus.

No more death.

He took it upon him.
No more suffering.
Once + for all.

Different walks of life on the same bus...
on a journey... to the cross.
Discovering together,
through unity + grace + empathy + humility + respect
that a love for all is present.
the One who provides love + is the example of love.

Disciples on the same journey.

Love. Peace. Understanding.

[journaled thoughts found in a notebook... written during a TobyMac concert... 'The Slam' was playin', yo.]

through the lens

my wife... aspiring photographer... a series of photos...













1. Full House, 2. Paine Falls, 3. Four, 4. Old, 5. shiny, 6. Rubber Duckie..., 7. Harpersfield Bridge, 8. Eternal Love, 9. Then there was light, 10. Best Friends

a story of incoherent hope {inspired by titles of songs playing in my Least Listened To playlist}

the train rolled down the tracks.
an old man - not nearly as old as he looked played a guitar with fierce passion.
the passing winds blew leaves around the boxcar.
clickity clack. clickity clack.
time faded to black.
day fell. night rose.
in the distance: rain. thunder. reality.
the joyous times and restless souls of youth cashed out on the curb.
brokenness. bottles. glass. hearts ripped.
"You Probably Couldn't See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight At Me"
she said with ease.
I was transported from place to place; generation to generation.
She slipped. I fell.
and with that a strong goodbye was felt like a slap across the face.
the truth of the matter was not elected but rejected.
and the wind cried tears of despair.
loneliness.
despair.
wonderment.
yet, the weight is a gift.
to be carried with rejoicing...
because suffering produces perseverance.
perseverance, character.
character, hope.
and hope does not disappoint us.
I hope for the sweet sounds of the passing train.
coming to carry me home.
"Lord, remember me, way beyond the blue."
never forgotten.
Once upon a summertime, if you recall,
the flowers were in bloom and life was living right before our eyes.
you could see it, feel it, smell it, love it.
and a sliver of the moon is gently resting in the northern sky tonite.
as the old man strums the strings,
fingers connected to his soul.
rhythm and poetry... without any words.
The trees whispered my name.
The fields of resting flowers agreed.
Peace was entering... would I embrace it...
or ask it to leave?
Clickity clack. Clickity clack.
I'm going up yonder.
Waiting.
Living.
Grabbing.
Welcoming.
with Hope to carry on.
She returned in the morning,
walked beside me until the pain dissipated.
Reminding me that He reached down for me,
lifted me up out of the muck and mire.
He cleared away the mud from my eyes - and restored a piece of me...
the peace in me.
An the whistled blew... again.

with regret

Dr. Edward Charles Beck

Dr. Edward Charles Beck, age 70, of Louisville, passed away Monday, April 16, 2007, in Pennsylvania. He was born in Crestline, OH, March 29, 1937, to the late Harry A. and DaLee A. (VanZile) Beck. He graduated from Cleveland Collinwood High School in 1956, Asbury College, Wilmore, KY, in 1960, Asbury Theological Seminary, in 1963, and Ashland Theological Seminary, 1982, with a Doctor of Ministry degree. He was a United Methodist pastor for 44 years, serving in Ohio. He served at Tippecanoe/Deersville, Harrison County, from 1963 to 1966, Winona, Columbiana County, 1966-1971, Cardington, Morrow County, 1971-1985, Louisville Christ United Methodist Church, 1985-2002, and in his retirement, he served part time at Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Carrol County from 2002 to 2007. He is survived by his wife, Charlotte Jane (Smith) Beck, whom he married in 1961; he is also survived by three daughters and sons-in-law, Abbey and Rev. Jerry Ernst of Hannibal, OH, Joy and Sam Garafalo of Canton, Penny and Kevin Ducharme of Gloucester, MA; a son and daughter-in-law, Timothy E. and Jen Beck of Louisville; a sister, Alice (Mae) Hellinger of Ontario, OH; a brother, Thomas A. Beck of Dover, DE; eight grandchildren, Gabriel, Harper and Josiah Ernst, Paola, Christian and Asa Ducharme, Micah and Addison Beck. Services will be 10 a.m. Saturday in Christ United Methodist Church in Louisville with Dr. Larry Hinkle officiating. Friends may call 6-8 p.m. Friday in the Stier-Israel Funeral Home in Louisville, and one hour before services at the church on Saturday. Additional services will be held Saturday afternoon at Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Carroll County. Interment will be in Herrington Bethel Cemetery in Carroll County. Memorial contributions may be made to the Christ United Methodist Church in Louisville or the Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Augusta, OH.

Trappd

what traps you?



photograph by Milov.

find yrslf

in just 7 days...

what will you do over the next seven days?

this is what He did.



*



end note:
8 pictures by young people, taking themes from the Easter story and applying it to their own lives and experiences. CLICK HERE.

embrace

I POSTED THIS ON OUR LENTEN BLOG THIS MORNING... THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO SHARE HERE AS WELL...


embrace.grace.
what does it look like?




grab hold of the morning.
seek the warmth of the sun.
close your eyes.
listen.

can you hear it?

behind the distraction of automobiles and exhaust
just past the dull roar of morning hustle
and beyond man-made disorder.

grace is speaking.

we often don't listen or hear it.
we reject it - thinking that its message can not possibly be for us.
it's chaos over clarity.
'i am not worthy.'

worry + fear + regret + poor self-image
trump grace.
and so i wallow.

"do not worry about tomorrow."
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them."
So if He feeds them so,
Why is my faith so low?

He speaks. Grace flows down.
it covers me.
like a warm blanket.
and I'm dripping wet no more.

grab hold of the morning.
seek the warmth of the son.
close your eyes.
listen.

can you hear it?

grace.

[untitled] making sense of thought.

it's all very interesting...


And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

The last lines from Snow Patrol's song Make This Go On Forever.


at this point i feel like i've been burnt by the sun - only to realize that it was my own faulty lamp that did the burning. it was man-made. it was of my own volition. i have been growing closer to the Father during this Lenten season... learning about love and journey and discipleship. temptation has strayed from me during this time...i've noticed those desires have waned.

but i feel burnt. and now i realize that maybe that burning sensation is a result of me sitting to close to the fire.

God's been speaking within me for quite some time now. i've been waiting patiently for him to come to me. now i realize i need to come to him. i feel so inspired - but my dreams feel squelched. i should point out that some of those 'dreams' have yet to be realized in full by me... but they are there. The Spirit is in them. i know.


But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. - Romans 8:25-27

it's like that moment in Lost in Translation where Scarlett Johansonn is sitting in her hotel room, staring out the window with Tombid [mp3] by Squarepusher playing. i'm staring out that window knowing full well that wonderment and discovery are on the horizon - yet i don't know where to look exactly. And thus i don't really know how to pray right now. or maybe i'm learning how to pray. or maybe the Spirit is taking care of it.

i like how the Message Remix translates it:

26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

on a recent Lenten blog post from Grace in England the author wrote this: To appreciate the sunrise you have to sit through the night. the question is: are we ready to sit through the night? we want it and we want it now. we want change - a better way - a hope for the future - a challenge - a dusty, dirty apprenticeship. but are we... am i willing to sit through the night?


Are you on the same journey? if not are you willing to join as we collectively discover the greatness inside of us -- as we learn together the plan that God has for us - and how they are intertwined like a shredded wheat biscuit? can we sit through the night and not get to close to the fire? the fire that is ours and not Gods? can we wait it out - be patient enough to fully enjoy + encompass the beautiful sunrise that breads new life + new beginnings?


i don't always know where to look. Sometimes i don't even have the words. But my spirit groans. it knows.


if you have 5 minutes - watch THIS video by Icelandic band Sigur Ros. it sums up the anticipation of something fabulous, adventurous, bold + free that i feel inside. the Spirit is right along side of me and His love for me will be worked into something good.

we are on the cusp of something spectacular. it just might change the face of the outward expression of our faith.

purpose.

faith.

hope.

truth.

i am on a journey. will you join me?

[playlist] to appreciate the sunrise...

[PLAYLIST] To Appreciate the Sunrise You've Got to Sit Through the Night

Sleepless Nights # 3 120 Days
Golden State Overnight Tarentel
Friend Of The Night Mogwai
Sunburn Muse
Permanent Daylight Radiohead
Silver Sun South
Midnight In A Perfect World DJ Shadow
Tommib Squarepusher
Till The Sun Turns Black Ray LaMontagne
Rain Patty Griffin
At Last Neko Case
Latter Days Over The Rhine
Dawn Begins To Creep Hammock
Sunlit Ascending The Appleseed Cast
Sunrise Cranes
The Sky Above, The Field Below Explosions In The Sky
Mountains Mix Explosions In The Sky
Oh the Glory of It All David Crowder Band
Put It Behind You {end} Keane
A New Beginning Jeremy Enigk
Been Here Before Jeremy Enigk
Glosoli Sigur Rós
Sun Stoned The Prayer Chain
Shifted Canon Paradigm Shift
Sunset Drama King The Appleseed Cast

Love

Bliss

Give Me 20

this challenge has been done on various message boards....

put your iTunes/iPod on shuffle... note the next 20 songs to play...

here's mine: completed @ 11:30am est.

Led Zeppelin - Black Dog
The Innocence Mission - Where Does the Time Go?
Explosions in the Sky - To West Texas
The Verve - Life’s An Ocean
Bruce Springsteen - All I’m Thinkin’ About
U2 - Peace on Earth
Peter Gabriel - Unlocking the Door
Caedmon’s Call - This World
Ryuichi Sakamoto - Ending Theme
Guillemots - We’re Here
The National - Secret Meeting
Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded
Radiohead - Let Down
Cush - The Smallest Part
Jim Gaffigan - Heaven
Hammock - Before the Celebration
Stars - Heart
DJ Shadow - Napalm Brain / Scatter Brain & Outro (Live)
Explosions in the Sky - Welcome, Ghosts
Ambulance Ltd - Heavy Lifting



does the music that plays on shuffle tell us anything about ourselves?

post your 20 below... or on your blog... or whatever...

Noticing Greatness in Others

Have you ever recognized the greatness in others? Have you then told that person that which you see in them?

my wife said something to me last nite that made me see that she saw the greatness in me. it was very meaningful. it got me to thinking, how often do we tell others about the greatness we see in them?

the next time you see greatness - tell them. i know that i have people i need to talk to - to let them know.

the beauty of it all is that God sees the greatness in us. we are not average. we are beautiful people.

enjoy: Peanut Butter Twix
and continue to check out our LENTEN BLOG.

thank you to Lilly Lewin for mentioning us in her blog post: Resources for Lent.

a season of lent

my wife + i have started a Lenten blog in which we plan on posting daily about all things related to this season of lent. i recently finished reading the book a Lenten Hobo Honeymoon
by Edward Hays. it has challenged me to look at lent as a spiritual journey... a journey in which the goal is to fall in love with Jesus all over again... at a whole new level... to reciprocate the love that God has for us.

orange lament {a.k.a. mourning the loss of a sweet friend}

apparently adults can develop food allergies later in life. at least that is what James Li says.

yesterday morning i indulged in my usual breakfast... which of course is no breakfast. but i did happen to grab a clementine or two from the fridge - to be eaten at my convenience. at my convenience - i indulged... immediately after downing two oranges - i was forced to eat a muffin from Dunkin Donuts. our secretary brought in a gun and held it to my head and made me eat a coffee cake muffin... which tasted strangely like a donut. they must fry the muffins in the same oil as the donuts.

immediately after eating, my mouth began to feel funny. the best way i could describe it is sort of a hybrid between the feeling of a sore throat - only in my mouth mixed with a strange itchy sensation with the added feeling that i had just eaten a bunch of Red Hots. I had not, in fact eaten any red hots.

deductive reasoning told me that there must have been something in the muffin that was causing such duress. the itching subsided after oh, about ten hours... or less... i lost track. it did, eventually go away.

today, for lunch i had some left over Papa Johns pizza. i gave my daughter a Clementine orange as part of her lunch. she ate half... so i, being the good father that i am - ate the other half. almost immediately i felt that same feeling as the day before.

"Ah ha!" i exclaimed! "it's gotta be the orange!"

so it appears that i am now allergic to oranges... or is it clementines? i may never know. i shall be too afraid to ever eat anything related to the lovely, delicious orange. parting is such sweet sorrow. i now know what Romeo must have felt when fair maiden Juliet was forbidden to be with him. i could take some Benadryl - but the last time i did that i was found nearly unconscious in a tent for the betterment of a day... missing out on the fun and sun and music of the Ichthus music festival.

what is the lesson learned? Don't Do Drugs.

spiritual lesson learned? Sometimes tasty, pretty things can kill you. (or at make your mouth itch)

I blame Adam.

snowblind

14 inches of snow... at least that is what i measured outside my front door. it's the most snow we've had around here in quite some time. often, after a blistering snowstorm, the cold arctic airs blows in and it's almost as if it's too cold to snow. today, the cold, dry air was bitter... single digit temperatures. the cloudless sky left us with nothing but frigid air and a bright sun magnified by the pure, white snow covering the ground.

snow blindness. the magnificent sun shines down upon a natural, earth-covered reflector blanket of snow. it can make your eyes do funky things... it can take several minutes for your eyes to adjust to the brightness and then back to any other alternative lighting.

the sun, such a beautiful object that provides so much for the inhabitants of this land - (light + warmth, nourishment, etc.) when mixed with white, pure snow becomes sort of toxic or damaging to the eyes. shielding or hiding the eyes is the only hope for relief.

sin is most often presented to us in bright + colorful ways; as a seemingly productive entity for our lives. we look at it with deceptive knowledge as if it will provide for us some sort of nourishment that will enhance our state of being. but when we surround ourselves with sin we struggle to differentiate between good + bad; light + dark; healthy + destructive. often, the extent of pain and destruction as a result of our sinful indulgence can not be noticed until later. much the same, symptoms of snow blindness don't always present themselves right away.

sin causes a sense of snow blindness. we can no longer see the sun... we can no longer see the Son.

the angel of light masks and morphs into many things... those things are nothing short of deceptive. if we take our eyes off of Jesus for even one second - we open ourselves up to a justification of actions that are not associated with Christ. we begin to look at an alternative 'light' that burns our retinas. that prolonged exposure to such a false light makes it more difficult to see the true light of Christ shining on the right path to righteousness.

there is no new revelation here. just a dangerous observation. as i hid my eyes from the extreme bright of sun + snow today, i couldn't help think about the spiritual side of being snow blind. the hard part - after giving in to temptation and being blinded by the damaging, deceptive light of sin - is crawling back into the spotlight that Christ has shown for us... even as his path is again revealed to us - our sin can be nothing short of exposed... the false light leads (ironically) to darkness - and that darkness can not stay hidden once we return to the all-encompassing light of Christ.

as lent approaches, may we all humbly walk back into the safe, warm, nurturing light of Jesus Christ. may we acknowledge defeat - and embrace victory... may we fail forward... into the arms of Jesus. His light takes away the jaundice of our sin. Fix your eyes on Him.



snow blindness

snowblind - 77's

angel of light - petra

whiter than

Things that Should Be Invented

A cake dispenser machine

A Machine that cuts your hair in your sleep

A national mermorial dedicated to the cast and crew of the movie 'The Goonies'


that's all i got so far... feel free to add your ideas...