Friday, September 15, 2006

THE 10: things i've learned this week

10. there is never enough time in a day to do the things one would like to do.
9. the crib seems no longer suitable in the eyes of my 15 month old daughter. if she could speak in full sentences - i am quite certain she would tell us that she would rather have a queen sized bed.
8. my friend Bryan is a whimsical genius of dry humor. one can only hope Costa Rica will understand.
7. sometimes words seem like they should have an 's' instead of a 'c'. i've given up caring which should be which. is it sentense or sentence? defence or defense?
6. Grey's Anatomy is addicting. We rented season 1 from the library after my wife decided Sunday nite that we were gonna start watching said show this season. we watched all 9 episodes in 2 days... she's gonna get season 2 today... so we have to watch 27 episodes before next Thursday @ 9pm.
5. Joining the YMCA is a good thing for me, us, you, pedro.
4. it can be quite a fearful thing to try out a new piece of equipment in the fitness room at the Y... especially with other people in the room. Thankfully - the treadmill was nice to me... except at the beginning - i chose to do a Cardio workout and it wouldn't let me get my heart rate above 118.... therefore limiting me to a brisk walking pace. it must have thought i was a 90 year old man or something. after about 5 minutes i figured out how to manually use the machine. i ran 2 miles... felt good... but it was weird getting off the thing. i guess your supposed to press STOP... not just jump off... (i kid, i kid).
3. with Micah starting pre-school this week combined with our new membership at ye ole YMCA - it is certain that we are going to have to meet new people. it is so much easier to just say 'Hi' and look at the ground.
2. addendum: it is certain that i will also be forced to see people i went to High School with... oh how the awkward stages of adolescence is flooding back into my soul. i hope i don't get picked last for dodge ball.
1. the ashamed feeling is starting to go away. i purchased my first pair of non-Adidas athletic shoes in 16 years. the guilt is fading... only because my new Nike Air Plus shoes are so comfortable to run in... Thankfully only the Treadmill will even know that i have abandoned my passion of only wearing Adidas shoes forever. No one else will ever know... shhh... don't tell.

Monday, September 11, 2006

...remember...


i remember eating breakfast at Cracker Barrell. We were celebrating a co-workers birthday. The waitress came out, shaking as she added water to my glass. "A plane just hit the world trade center." 'What building is the World Trade Center?', i thought to myself... i knew of the building but at the moment, i couldn't picture it.

on the way home, we turned on the radio... ABC news and Peter Jennings reported... as we drove out of the parking lot, the radio waves sent sounds of a great rumble. WTC #2 had just collapsed. we rushed to get home. my dad came inside with me imediately. we turned on the TV just in time to see Tower #1 fall.

i tried to go to work that afternoon, but not much was ackomplished... things seemed so trivial in light of the events in NYC, Washington DC & Shanksville, PA.

i will never forget...

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

summer/simplicity

get lost.

not dark yet.

due to unforseen circumstances (some forseen - i.e. vacation) i have not been blogging as of late.

point of interest:
1. Linksys wireless routers (specifically the WRT54G model) blow.
2. The itch is back... no - i am not talking about some sort of fungus that has invaded my skin... i am talking about the GOLFING itch. it's back. i want to golf every day.
3. my wife is now officially a photographer. I am so very proud of her!
4. I want my summer back... please.

as soon as we get back online and networked, i will blog.

as for now:

enjoy the genius that is Bob Dylan. able to reinvent himself and remain relevant.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

taking a moment














while reading Mark Yaconelli's book Contemplative Youth Ministry i was driven to spend a few moments in quiet... to become aware of surroundings... the colros, shapes & smells... to listen to the noises that surround my ears... to gently direct my attention toward God... so quietly i turned my awareness to the presense of God within all that i was able to see, hear and feel.

Without forcing anything - I spent just a few moments trying, as the book promted, to open up to the Divine Love within the reality of the moment.

As i was sitting there - resting... feeling a needed moment of rest, my eyes closed. As i was trying to 'take in' God my mind began to picture images... the images were scenes from a hospital... with those images the word RISK appeared in my mind.

My ears began to focus on the words of the music: my iPod was on shuffle. the song of the moment: Muse - Unintended from the album Showbiz.

The lyrics to the song began to resonate within me. was it a coinsidence that this song was playing? probably not.

Here were the lyrics that i heard (yes - i looked them up afterword):

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before


First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before


Before you


Yeah, i am sure that this song is about a girl... but i couldn't help see the corelation between our relationships with other humans and our relationship with God.

don't we always feel like we need to get our life in order before we go to God? don't we feel like we have to fix ourselves first - and yet, God and God alone is the only one capable of fixing us, mere broken vessels with broken hearts that can only be mended by the Maker and giver of love eternal?

Shouldn't God be the one we'll always love? and even if we resist him He loves us still. Unconditional.

that is where Risk comes in to play. it takes risk for us to be fixed... because we become used to the pain... to the point that the pain gives us security... it's a trap... a deception...

were my images of a hospital tied to the word 'Risk' and the lyrics to that Muse song?

whatever it is or was - it makes me believe all the more that God can and will use any means to speak to us... He'll do anything to get our attention so that we may feel and experience his love. i think that this is all about LOVE!

"I love you without condition. come to me. my arms are open. a hospital can not fix you... I can! I can heal you. I can comfort you. It may seem like a Risk for you to trust in me... for you to see my Love for you... Believe it or not, I understand Risk. My son, i placed him up on the altar as a human sacrifice - so that you may get to know me... so that you may have life. fullness. happiness. joy. know this: my Love for you is more beautiful than anything in this created world. Don't resist..."
- God



Thank you, Mark Yaconelli, for this activity.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

THE 10: things to do before your number is up

10. Travel on old Route 66, stopping along the way to photograph your journey.
9. Go to an old movie house / Palace-type theatre. (you know, the one's with a pipe organ, a 'moving' starry ceiling and lots of gargoyles). Take in a foreign film there.
8. Own at least one Beatles album or CD.
7. Buy a record player. Go to a used record store. Raid the 10 cent bin. Spend at least one Saturday morning chilling out, listening to your finds.
6. Stay up all nite driving around... with no destination in mind.
5. Create something. Build it. Draw it. Paint it. Write it. Make it... whatever... just create... be creative (that's part of your DNA, you know). Express yourself through your own creativity.
4. Read through the Bible.
3. Listen to Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys. Embrace the genius of Brian Wilson.
2. Spend 24 hours in total silence. Journal every thought that ye are able to write.
1. Sell all of your possessions and be free.

Monday, July 24, 2006

what has God done for me?

a few weeks ago i was privilaged enough to lead a group of teens on a mission trip to Northwest Ohio for a week of Christ-like service. you may be asking - 'why go on a mission trip to Sandusky, Ohio?' why not go to New Orleans or the Congo or to some inner city or appalatian community? i don't know - but i guess now in hindsight i could say that i know for certain that we were sent there for a reason.

I Will
Go Where You Send Me.

We worked in a soup kitchen for the week (among other things). it was at this place where God spoke to me - or maybe it would be better to say that God showed me things... words weren't necessary. i got the message. the message was love. the message was food. the message was hope. the message was 'what you do to the least of these, you do to me.'

not once during the week, while working there was a voiced raised in disagreement. not once was there a sense of disunity. it was as if all evil was rebuked and disposed of outside the front door on the warm Sandusky concrete.

i think i learned what it means to be blessed by God... i think i learned what it means to have God at the center of everything...

i had a chance to talk to Pastor Lonnie - the man who founded the Victory Soup Kitchen. His church was meeting in a YMCA for a number of years... before building a church facilitY, they purchased a house and renovated it - turning it in to the soup kitchen. amid resistence - they perservered. early on, while sitting with a homeless man who was being fed @ the soup kitchen, Pastor Lonnie was nearly stumped by a question posed to him by the hard-pressed man who looked him straight in the eye. "What has God ever done for me?" the man asked Pastor. While searching for the right words and not finding them, Pastor Lonnie shared with me that before his feeble attempts to formulate a response would come to fruition 7 words came out of his mouth - as if the Holy Spirit had spoke them: "He's feeding you this meal. isn't he?"

The Lord God takes care of his creation... of his people. The birds of the air need not worry about tomorrow.

God provides. Abide in him.

My perspective has now changed a bit. I can only hope that i will begin to see all the ways God has provided for my needs... I strive to give Him all the glory... i strive to let my pride fall down daily.

And yet as i write this i am reminded that the Lord has placed within me something deep...deeper than this revelation... something that i do not yet comprehend... but i know it is in me... and i know it is from Him...

patience...



Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
PSALM 34

firefly






Firefly

(Bergquist/Detweiler)
recording: Drunkard's Prayer












My memory will not fail me now

Mmm firefly in the night sky
Only lights on the rise
And I need you so firefly

One satellite with a lazy eye
Caught me by surprise
With an ache in my belly
And a taste in my mouth for fire

My memory will not fail me now

Mmm firefly in the night sky
Only lights on the rise
After the killing frost
Where do you go
Firefly

My memory will not fail me now
And the rest is history

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

what]cha[waitin[for]

random jawbrockery.101.






listening to: Q: Best Of 86/06 (14 classic tracks covered by 14 essential artists)

just watched: Eight Men Out

wikipedia moment: researching the historical accuracy of the HBO series Deadwood [and finding other info HERE].

contemplation: in the wake of the death of a friend from my church - death has been on my mind.

reading: Ecclesiastes

further contemplation: everything is meaninless

signs and wonders: watching a child enjoy the summer sun, playing in the grass, stomping on weeds and swimming in the pool.

thinking about: buzzing my hair

enjoying: afternoon cat-naps

game of choice: EA Sports NFL Head Coach (pretending to be Bill Cowher)

if i had more time: i'd learn the ins and outs of my new Mac.

mindless confabulation: about what it's like to live in Ohio during the month of July.

reflection: the past 6 weeks entailing an extended weekend away, the firing of two co-workers, time spent @ annual conference for the East Ohio Conference of the United Methodist Church, my week at the CYF youth camp, figuring out what to do with the vision God has laid before me, giving thanks for a wonderful week long mission trip to Sandusky and surrounding parts.

wishing: upon a star

hoping: to learn what it means to be on a budget

dreaming: of vacation

still dreaming: of more vacation

loving: my wife - cuz she is hot.

procrastinating: because it's a lost art.

OUT.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

It's Been A While



wow.
it.s been. a, month.

i have been home only for about a week out of the past 30 days.

home again, i am.

maybe something interesting will emerge from my feeble mind.

if it does... i will teel you.

*

Thursday, June 15, 2006

a dream is a wish your heart makes...

when i was in 5th grade, i sang a duet of the songA DREAM IS A WISH YOUR HEART MAKES with some girl whom i don't remember. until a few moments ago, i wouldn;t have been able to even tell you what Disney movie that song came from... but i googled the lyrics....



from Cinderella:

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

i have faith in dreams... no matter how much my heart grieves. i have faith that God is with me - granting me the desires of my heart - so long as i follow & seek Him. i have faith that if he doesn't grant the desire of my heart then he will change said desire.

it's not a dichotomy. it's a reality that i've seen played out in my own life. 7 years ago a dream began to creep into my humbled heart. my vision shifted and God placed me here - at this very spot - at this very moment - for a reason. this is not some random happenstance. God is bigger than happenstance.

and so here i am, a man, now 32 years of age, discovering what it means to trust in Jesus... learning all over again what it means to Follow Christ. man, am i dry right now... i am parched... my thirst can only be quenched by Jesus... i am coming to the waters - but it is hard not to drink out of my own canteen. i see a beautiful steam, a babbling brook, flowing with eternal waters. i need a drink. i need to be reminded to drink.

as i approach the waters edge, dreams long forgotten have crept back into my very soul. At the heart of it all, the heart of me, lies a yearning for the creative. that desire to create is stronger than it's been in years.

Am i daring enough to drink my fill from the water sprnging forth from the everlasting? do i dare venture into the unknown, hand in hand with Christ?

desire is more than a song by U2. dreams are bigger than any Cinderella song.

God provides. God asks of me: do you trust me? truly? trust me... walk with me... see what i have laid out before you... come on in, the water is fine.

---

i am realizing that i don't have to be the savior of a wretched situation. my goals, my dreams, my visions of yore do not have to superceed my current divine placement. maybe my goals and dreams are more connected than i've realized...






expression is a beautiful thing...
{lest we forget}




Friday, June 09, 2006

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Sunday, May 21, 2006

THE TEN: 200th Post


TEN: REVALATIONS AS I POST MY 200TH...
10. My 3 yr. old's new favorite song is Coldplay's Politik
9. My Laser Quest rank for tonite (out of 32 players): 13th, 2nd, 3rd
8. Iniviting people over to the house makes for a good excuse to get the house cleaned.
7. If I had my druthers I'd wear shorts and sandles every day from here until Labor Day.
6. My wife is a good photographer... mostly self taught. I love it - 'cuz I'm a big fan of creative expression.
5. Running is second to walking with the family. I've been trying to run 3 times a week... only about a mile and a 1/4th each time... but it's something... but walks with the fam, with Micah pulling Addison in the wagon... that is priceless.
4. iPod's are neat and fun and addicting and fun and joyful and the best thing since bread sliced.
3. Spring rain isn't all that bad... it makes you appreciate the sunny days all the more.
2. If i were a machine, i would like to be a printing press... or a Wal Mart... because you never know what'll come through the doors at a Wal Mart - which would make for an exciting life as a machine. It'd be fresh anyway.
1. 200 is a nice round number. if there were no numbers and words had to have double meaning (word meaning and number meaning) the word Zoo would be the equivilant of the number 200. 1 would be an "l" while 3 would be an E. the real tragedy would be that the number 8 would have to be a colon surrounded by parenthesis (:)

i have a unique ability to be random.



enjoy String Cheese.

Friday, May 19, 2006

le arte de finale season

It's May... Particularly the 3rd week of may - which means it's Season Finale time... so far similar patterns perfected in years of yore have played out before us. Cliffhangers involving shootouts, runs from the law, terrorist plots and love triangles are there for the viewing... spoon fed to us as if we were stricken ill with no ability to feed ourselves.

none the less, I love may sweeps. A simple look to the left side of this blog and you'll see my unashamed love for all things television. Again, I've said this before I feel it to be my right to love and adore TV... as I have a degree in Broadcast Communications. So that's my excuse.

in the past week, Aras has won Survivor, T-bag got his hand chopped off in Prison Break as the escaped convicts made the run away from John Law, and a shootout in the ER left us hanging... waiting until September to find out the truth that lies beyond and beneath.

Next week, finales of 24 & Lost will be sure to entertain. Answers to questions promised, of course...

The New York Times has an article dealing with this very topic... It's a good read... give it your time.



Before I close - I must say - the finale of ER last night has stuck with me. [summary here]
This season probably hasn't been ER's best... and I've seen every episode of every season... but there were some episodes that were above par - making it still worth my time. Last nights finale was one of the best in a long while. It concluded with a dramatic climax involving a shootout, convicts on the run, a doctor held hostage and another pregnant doctor who may or may not loose the baby. Yeah - sounds far fetched... (my father in law's reasons for not watching, by the way) but it worked. Episode 267 ended as Snow Patrol's Open Your Eyes played... an amazing song that builds and builds until an epic sonic climax, and a deeply affecting cut to the heart. It was a great conclusion to a great episode... and now I can't stop listening to the song...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Finishing a Book

if you knew me, really knew me, you'd know that me and books don't get along. the books just tend to stare right up at me, mocking me all the while i attempt to read them. books are bountiful in my office and they have found refuge and comfort on my shelves. i have many. not many of them really know me though nor do i know them.

i don't mind reading actually. i am a slow reader but no harm there. my sister is a fast reader. She would often read through a the latest Stephen King novel in one night.

i generally enjoy reading autobiographies. i remember enjoying reading Iron Horse, the autobiography of Lou Gehrig. i've read stuff about the old west, too. After the popularity of the movie Tombstone i was compelled to read a few books about Wyatt Earp. One of my favorite books that i've read was a book about Rich Mullins (An Arrow Pointing Towards Heaven). it took me almost two years to read it.

i have read other books since then, mostly books realated to youth ministry and the like.

i set a goal this FEB. to read some books. i used some of my birthday money to buy Friday Night Lights by H.G. Bissinger and The Autobiography of Johnny Cash.

in the mean time i had purchased a book called Practitioners - voices from within the Emerging Church

well last week a monumental thing happened for me: I finished the Practitioners book (in less than a month) and i finished Friday Night Lights. i plan on blogging more about said books. but for the moment i just want to rejoice.

there is nothing like that feeling of finishing a book. it is a grand acomplishment... something that should be rewarded in some way. if i were an elementary school child, my teacher would be giving me a gift certificate to Pizza Hut or something.

i guess you know when you've finished a good book... when that book leaves you wanting more...

i am full right now... and thankful for books.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Friday, May 05, 2006

Ten Years Gone.

May 5, 1996. 10 years ago today. A day that is more monumental than I would like to think. It was possibly more monumental than I cared to think at the time as well. It was a rite of passage... a change bound to come. 10 years ago on this day I graduated from Asbury College with a BA in Media Communications.

GREAT THINGS FROM THE PAST 10 YEARS (off the top of my head...)

10 MONUMENTAL ALBUMS:
Radiohead - Kid A
Radiohead - OK Computer
David Crowder*Band - A Collision (or 3+4=7)
Underworld - Second Toughest in the Infants
U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Derek Webb - She Must & Shall Go Free
Sigur Ros - ( )
Over the Rhine - The Darkest Night of the Year
Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head
Patty Griffin - Making Pies

10 MONUMENTAL FILMS
Trainspotting
Sling Blade
Million Dollar Baby
Amelie
Fight Club
Almost Famous
American History X
O Brother Where Art Thou?
Life is Beautiful
Swingers


10 MONUMENTAL MOMENTS
-Getting married and finding my soul mate
-Having kids who I love and adore
-Going on vacations with my family and sharing in adventures with them
-working with CYF Camp
-Finding a job that I love
-Shaking hands with Paul Crouch (o.k. - i am kidding)
-Ohio State's 2002 National Championship in college football & Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl XL victory & watching the Indians beat the Yankees in the '97 ALDS
-Seeing U2 in concert twice
-Working in Atlanta for the 1996 Olympic Games
-Buying my first car and shortly after moving out of my parents house




10 years lived. 10 years loved. little regret. lots of promise. thanks to God for blessings and opportunities. His sustaining power has been present - even through the difficulties.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

cheese: redux

my friend Bryan wrote this little diddy about macoroni and cheese.

check it


word.