Thursday, May 24, 2007

io
























inspired by the song Io by Helen Stellar
(featured on the Elizabethtown soundtrack)

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

a fresh rain fell today

a fresh rain fell today
after 10 days of sun.
it was cool and refreshing.

the birds of the air,
they are making music
showing appreciation
and giving thanks for the bath and the drink.

nature has its purpose.
perfect symmetry.
it gives. it takes. it provides. it needs.
can this be random?

God is in the falling rain.
He is in the songs of praise
from the nesting birds.

He is the symmetry.
the synergy.
the energy.
the supremacy.

he is the beauty of Monet
and the lyrics of Bono.
He speaks through:
the silver screen,
the small screen,
the LCD screen.
the iPod and the FM dial.


He is the joy of children
laughing; the peace of
a quiet stream. the
patience of a grandmother;
the gentleness of a summer breeze.

most of all He is love.
a personified love that is
known within the hearts
of all mankind... rejected and accepted.

His love is His creation.
His creation is us.

A fresh rain fell today
and i experienced God.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

free



a self portrait of randomness

Not a fan of death… it’s so… final.
I’m tired.
Don’t know how to feel.
I miss the small things.
I somewhat feel guilty that I had (for God knows why) thoughts about my dad dying about a month or two before.
Fears come and go.
Less today than yesterday.
But it has forced me to put things in perspective.
Take nothing for granted.

Covetousness.
Big word. Big problem, presumably.
I’t’s too easy to lust after that which isn’t mine – or that which I'd like to own.
A home. Video equipment. More music (cuz I don’t have enough?)
I have never gotten used to the fact that I will never make money as long as I’m working in ministry.
But I don’t do it for the money… I’d be a fool, otherwise anyway.
I am thankful for the passion God has given me for youth ministry and creative worship.

It appears we have some ‘suspicious’ neighbors.
A few are teenagers – one with a banged up car with no muffler – who likes to leave 2 or 3 times a night, usually between 1 and 3 am. He’s gone for 10 minutes and returns.
It should be against the law to drive a car without a muffler.
‘sweet’ smelling smoke is often looming. it blows in through our window fan.
The other day, the inhabitants were partying at a children’s park (behind their duplex – beside our house) – alcohol and all… on the playground, mind you.
is it even any of my business?
They kind of avoid us…

I was on hold for 40 minutes today.

Nothing compares to listening to a favorite album that you haven’t listened to in a while.
This evening, The Joshua Tree brought me great joy.

I want to run.
I want to hide.
I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside.

Bliss.

(from melancholy to bliss... a self portrait that gives thanks to God for that which is beautiful)
LIFE is beautiful
MUSIC is beautiful
OPPORTUNITY is beautiful
I am beautiful (even when the lilly's don't look pleasing to the eye...)

Thursday, May 10, 2007

i live

























If you had permission to do what you really wanted to do, what would you do? Don't ask how, that will cut your desire off at the knees. How is never the right question; how is a faithless question. It means "unless I can see my way clearly I won't believe it, wont venture forth."

...How is God's department. He is asking you what.

What is written on your heart? What makes you come alive? If you could do anything you've always wanted to do, what would it be?

A man's calling is written upon his true heart, and he discovers it when he enters the frontier of his deep desires.

...Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive because what the world needs are men (and woman) who have come alive.
[excerpt taken from john Eldredge - Wild at Heart]




DO THAT
WHICH MAKES YOU
come

ALIVE







LIVE.

a live


















live [verb] 1: to be alive 2: to continue on 3: to dwell
live [adjective] 1: having life
live [adverb] 1
: at the actual time of occurrence

what does it mean to survive?
choice: exist or live.

true living? follow Christ. receive your gift.

full. not empty.

embrace risk.

kick.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

tornado stories











































a massive F5 tornado ripped through Greensburg, Kansas on the evening of May 5th. reports say that 95% of the town has been destroyed. everything has been destroyed. this is mind boggling. at this point 9 people are confirmed dead.

i am particularly drawn to this story because the town in which i spent my youth was also ravaged by a tornado. the date was June 13, 1981. Early in the afternoon that Saturday a category 3 (max. wind speeds 158-206 mph) tornado 0.4 miles away from the Cardington city center killed 4 people and injured 56 people and caused between $5,000,000 and $50,000,000 in damages. the entire downtown of the small town of Cardington was destroyed - as were hundreds of homes - including an entire trailer park.













[downtown Cardington... more photos]

i remember seeing a mobile home literally wrapped around a tree. i was 7 years old at the time. my other memories include having a hard time sleeping - because of the lack of electricity and the loud noises of machinery and generators outside our house. Our church next door served as a soup kitchen and shelter for many weeks following.

i still have a t-shirt that reads I Survived the Cardington Tornado - June 13, 1981.

so yesterday, while listening to The Maxwell Show on WMMS 100.7 in Cleveland they were talking about the Greensburg tornado so I called in to discuss my own tornado experience. You can listen to that segment HERE [i'm the first caller... approx. 4 min 50 sec. in]. I said "hey, i lived through a tornado..." later he asked me me where i was at the time and i said "we weren't home at the time at the time the tornado touched down..." i didn't clarify that we were nearby at my grandma's house... but anyway - some guy (the third caller) said "what was that first caller thinking - saying he lived through a tornado - but he wasn't home at the time.".

well i still lived through it and the tornado tore up our town.... i didn't think much of it at first - then my wife started laughing - saying i got called out on the radio! then i couldn't stop thinking about it... i wanted so bad to call back and set the record straight so that i wouldn't look bad... but we were heading to Wal Mart... we needed ground turkey and a golf glove. so all through Wal Mart i started thinking about what i could have said. i guess this goes to show that little things can eat away at a man's ego.

to prove this fact - maybe that is why i have gone to great lengths to research the Cardington tornado - as if to validate my story that i told on the radio.

ego and tornado's... to powerful things that can destroy many...

Thursday, May 03, 2007

the slam

Dead man walking.
Life loved. Life given. Life breathed...
But dead in sin. Made alive through the bridge
- the bridge leads to life - true life, not deceived life.
The bridge is Jesus.

No more death.

He took it upon him.
No more suffering.
Once + for all.

Different walks of life on the same bus...
on a journey... to the cross.
Discovering together,
through unity + grace + empathy + humility + respect
that a love for all is present.
the One who provides love + is the example of love.

Disciples on the same journey.

Love. Peace. Understanding.

[journaled thoughts found in a notebook... written during a TobyMac concert... 'The Slam' was playin', yo.]

Saturday, April 28, 2007

through the lens

my wife... aspiring photographer... a series of photos...













1. Full House, 2. Paine Falls, 3. Four, 4. Old, 5. shiny, 6. Rubber Duckie..., 7. Harpersfield Bridge, 8. Eternal Love, 9. Then there was light, 10. Best Friends

a story of incoherent hope {inspired by titles of songs playing in my Least Listened To playlist}

the train rolled down the tracks.
an old man - not nearly as old as he looked played a guitar with fierce passion.
the passing winds blew leaves around the boxcar.
clickity clack. clickity clack.
time faded to black.
day fell. night rose.
in the distance: rain. thunder. reality.
the joyous times and restless souls of youth cashed out on the curb.
brokenness. bottles. glass. hearts ripped.
"You Probably Couldn't See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight At Me"
she said with ease.
I was transported from place to place; generation to generation.
She slipped. I fell.
and with that a strong goodbye was felt like a slap across the face.
the truth of the matter was not elected but rejected.
and the wind cried tears of despair.
loneliness.
despair.
wonderment.
yet, the weight is a gift.
to be carried with rejoicing...
because suffering produces perseverance.
perseverance, character.
character, hope.
and hope does not disappoint us.
I hope for the sweet sounds of the passing train.
coming to carry me home.
"Lord, remember me, way beyond the blue."
never forgotten.
Once upon a summertime, if you recall,
the flowers were in bloom and life was living right before our eyes.
you could see it, feel it, smell it, love it.
and a sliver of the moon is gently resting in the northern sky tonite.
as the old man strums the strings,
fingers connected to his soul.
rhythm and poetry... without any words.
The trees whispered my name.
The fields of resting flowers agreed.
Peace was entering... would I embrace it...
or ask it to leave?
Clickity clack. Clickity clack.
I'm going up yonder.
Waiting.
Living.
Grabbing.
Welcoming.
with Hope to carry on.
She returned in the morning,
walked beside me until the pain dissipated.
Reminding me that He reached down for me,
lifted me up out of the muck and mire.
He cleared away the mud from my eyes - and restored a piece of me...
the peace in me.
An the whistled blew... again.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

with regret

Dr. Edward Charles Beck

Dr. Edward Charles Beck, age 70, of Louisville, passed away Monday, April 16, 2007, in Pennsylvania. He was born in Crestline, OH, March 29, 1937, to the late Harry A. and DaLee A. (VanZile) Beck. He graduated from Cleveland Collinwood High School in 1956, Asbury College, Wilmore, KY, in 1960, Asbury Theological Seminary, in 1963, and Ashland Theological Seminary, 1982, with a Doctor of Ministry degree. He was a United Methodist pastor for 44 years, serving in Ohio. He served at Tippecanoe/Deersville, Harrison County, from 1963 to 1966, Winona, Columbiana County, 1966-1971, Cardington, Morrow County, 1971-1985, Louisville Christ United Methodist Church, 1985-2002, and in his retirement, he served part time at Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Carrol County from 2002 to 2007. He is survived by his wife, Charlotte Jane (Smith) Beck, whom he married in 1961; he is also survived by three daughters and sons-in-law, Abbey and Rev. Jerry Ernst of Hannibal, OH, Joy and Sam Garafalo of Canton, Penny and Kevin Ducharme of Gloucester, MA; a son and daughter-in-law, Timothy E. and Jen Beck of Louisville; a sister, Alice (Mae) Hellinger of Ontario, OH; a brother, Thomas A. Beck of Dover, DE; eight grandchildren, Gabriel, Harper and Josiah Ernst, Paola, Christian and Asa Ducharme, Micah and Addison Beck. Services will be 10 a.m. Saturday in Christ United Methodist Church in Louisville with Dr. Larry Hinkle officiating. Friends may call 6-8 p.m. Friday in the Stier-Israel Funeral Home in Louisville, and one hour before services at the church on Saturday. Additional services will be held Saturday afternoon at Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Carroll County. Interment will be in Herrington Bethel Cemetery in Carroll County. Memorial contributions may be made to the Christ United Methodist Church in Louisville or the Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Augusta, OH.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Trappd

















what traps you?



photograph by Milov.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Friday, March 30, 2007

in just 7 days...











what will you do over the next seven days?

this is what He did.



*



end note:
8 pictures by young people, taking themes from the Easter story and applying it to their own lives and experiences. CLICK HERE.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

embrace

I POSTED THIS ON OUR LENTEN BLOG THIS MORNING... THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO SHARE HERE AS WELL...


embrace.grace.

what does it look like?




grab hold of the morning.
seek the warmth of the sun.
close your eyes.
listen.

can you hear it?

behind the distraction of automobiles and exhaust
just past the dull roar of morning hustle
and beyond man-made disorder.

grace is speaking.

we often don't listen or hear it.
we reject it - thinking that its message can not possibly be for us.
it's chaos over clarity.
'i am not worthy.'

worry + fear + regret + poor self-image
trump grace.
and so i wallow.

"do not worry about tomorrow."
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them."
So if He feeds them so,
Why is my faith so low?

He speaks. Grace flows down.
it covers me.
like a warm blanket.
and I'm dripping wet no more.

grab hold of the morning.
seek the warmth of the son.
close your eyes.
listen.

can you hear it?

grace.

Friday, March 16, 2007

[untitled] making sense of thought.

it's all very interesting...


And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

The last lines from Snow Patrol's song Make This Go On Forever.


at this point i feel like i've been burnt by the sun - only to realize that it was my own faulty lamp that did the burning. it was man-made. it was of my own volition. i have been growing closer to the Father during this Lenten season... learning about love and journey and discipleship. temptation has strayed from me during this time...i've noticed those desires have waned.

but i feel burnt. and now i realize that maybe that burning sensation is a result of me sitting to close to the fire.

God's been speaking within me for quite some time now. i've been waiting patiently for him to come to me. now i realize i need to come to him. i feel so inspired - but my dreams feel squelched. i should point out that some of those 'dreams' have yet to be realized in full by me... but they are there. The Spirit is in them. i know.


But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. - Romans 8:25-27

it's like that moment in Lost in Translation where Scarlett Johansonn is sitting in her hotel room, staring out the window with Tombid [mp3] by Squarepusher playing. i'm staring out that window knowing full well that wonderment and discovery are on the horizon - yet i don't know where to look exactly. And thus i don't really know how to pray right now. or maybe i'm learning how to pray. or maybe the Spirit is taking care of it.

i like how the Message Remix translates it:

26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

on a recent Lenten blog post from Grace in England the author wrote this: To appreciate the sunrise you have to sit through the night. the question is: are we ready to sit through the night? we want it and we want it now. we want change - a better way - a hope for the future - a challenge - a dusty, dirty apprenticeship. but are we... am i willing to sit through the night?


Are you on the same journey? if not are you willing to join as we collectively discover the greatness inside of us -- as we learn together the plan that God has for us - and how they are intertwined like a shredded wheat biscuit? can we sit through the night and not get to close to the fire? the fire that is ours and not Gods? can we wait it out - be patient enough to fully enjoy + encompass the beautiful sunrise that breads new life + new beginnings?


i don't always know where to look. Sometimes i don't even have the words. But my spirit groans. it knows.


if you have 5 minutes - watch THIS video by Icelandic band Sigur Ros. it sums up the anticipation of something fabulous, adventurous, bold + free that i feel inside. the Spirit is right along side of me and His love for me will be worked into something good.

we are on the cusp of something spectacular. it just might change the face of the outward expression of our faith.

purpose.

faith.

hope.

truth.

i am on a journey. will you join me?

[playlist] to appreciate the sunrise...

[PLAYLIST] To Appreciate the Sunrise You've Got to Sit Through the Night

Sleepless Nights # 3 120 Days
Golden State Overnight Tarentel
Friend Of The Night Mogwai
Sunburn Muse
Permanent Daylight Radiohead
Silver Sun South
Midnight In A Perfect World DJ Shadow
Tommib Squarepusher
Till The Sun Turns Black Ray LaMontagne
Rain Patty Griffin
At Last Neko Case
Latter Days Over The Rhine
Dawn Begins To Creep Hammock
Sunlit Ascending The Appleseed Cast
Sunrise Cranes
The Sky Above, The Field Below Explosions In The Sky
Mountains Mix Explosions In The Sky
Oh the Glory of It All David Crowder Band
Put It Behind You {end} Keane
A New Beginning Jeremy Enigk
Been Here Before Jeremy Enigk
Glosoli Sigur Rós
Sun Stoned The Prayer Chain
Shifted Canon Paradigm Shift
Sunset Drama King
The Appleseed Cast

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Give Me 20

this challenge has been done on various message boards....

put your iTunes/iPod on shuffle... note the next 20 songs to play...

here's mine: completed @ 11:30am est.

Led Zeppelin - Black Dog
The Innocence Mission - Where Does the Time Go?
Explosions in the Sky - To West Texas
The Verve - Life’s An Ocean
Bruce Springsteen - All I’m Thinkin’ About
U2 - Peace on Earth
Peter Gabriel - Unlocking the Door
Caedmon’s Call - This World
Ryuichi Sakamoto - Ending Theme
Guillemots - We’re Here
The National - Secret Meeting
Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded
Radiohead - Let Down
Cush - The Smallest Part
Jim Gaffigan - Heaven
Hammock - Before the Celebration
Stars - Heart
DJ Shadow - Napalm Brain / Scatter Brain & Outro (Live)
Explosions in the Sky - Welcome, Ghosts
Ambulance Ltd - Heavy Lifting



does the music that plays on shuffle tell us anything about ourselves?

post your 20 below... or on your blog... or whatever...