THE SUNDAYS - God Made Me
from the album BLIND
looking for an insult there's a trickle in my head
seeing it's worth the effort I forgive myself
talks that we had are becoming a blur
if only I could love my neighbour
waiting here for the next time with a bottle in my hand
doing it for the exercise I forget myself
the face thet you had is becoming a blur
but how was I supposed to know that?
because God made me
that's all they told me before
& how about you?
& it's off to work we go now
you can forget about a labour of love
it just won't wash anymore
we'd love to be good but we'd rather be bad
but how was I supposed to know that?
because God made me
that's all they told me before
& how about you?
because God made people
that was the luck of the draw
we do what we want
God made me
what's what they told me before
who knows what they'll say today?
because God made me for his sins
imagine my eyes when I first saw we can do what we want
How could I know? How could I know about it
THOUGHTS ON THE SONG... based on a conversation about it with my wife.
Maybe the song is dealing with the sinful nature...
-how we do wrong even when we were made for right
-how we keep going and going and move farther from God
-his love doesn't seem so forgiving
-i think it is someone who has moved away from God and they look back at how they told well "god made you"
-he allows me to do wrong and i keep doing it- cause it commonplace and b/c I can
-and now because i'm so far away it seems that his love doesn't offer redemption...
Thursday, February 24, 2005
transcriptions from the inner workings of the right brain
i pour my life into my job. i have no apologies for that. i don't see how i could do it any other way. It's all of my heart or nothing at all. my wife and i are expecting our second child this june. funny, in some ways, as a youth worker, i already have dozens of kids. i probably see some of my youth more than their parents see them. there isn't any one thing that i wouldn't do for my 'kids'. and yet i am constantly bothered by the thoughts of 'i could and should do more.' but alas, there are only a handful of hours in every day.
my family at home has to be my priority and i strive to keep it so. it is pure joy every day to walk thru the door and to be greeted by a loving 2 year old son. being a father is great... much more than i ever expected.
so i am surrounded by people that i love. it takes a lot to take away that joy. working in a church isn't always peaches and cream. the church has its share of ignorant individuals who can't see the forest for the trees. regardless, i persevere... keeping on keeping on, waiting patiently for my next challenge and my next reward.
OUT.
my family at home has to be my priority and i strive to keep it so. it is pure joy every day to walk thru the door and to be greeted by a loving 2 year old son. being a father is great... much more than i ever expected.
so i am surrounded by people that i love. it takes a lot to take away that joy. working in a church isn't always peaches and cream. the church has its share of ignorant individuals who can't see the forest for the trees. regardless, i persevere... keeping on keeping on, waiting patiently for my next challenge and my next reward.
OUT.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
The Story of How I met My Wife
a message board inspired me to write about this...
my story:
July 1998
I was a counselor at a church youth camp for a week in late July/early August. There was this girl, Jen, who had recently graduated and was a camper for the last time. At CYF camp, I helped coordinate the audio/visual for worship and the afternoon recreation (soccer, to be exact). During the worship sessions, I noticed young Jen sitting oh-so-close to the sound board. Occasionally, I would notice out of the corner of my eye a dead stare coming from the eyes of one fine girl. As a counselor, I quickly put the "this girls hot" thoughts out of my head.
Jen signed up to play soccer and somehow always manged to get on my team. She was very quiet, but she made her presence known. during one game, she threw the ball in to me and I headed it into the goal. We gave each other high-5's. That was our first physical contact. Her younger brother was in my cabin and she was sort of looking after him and tha gave her a reason to talk to me. So throughout the week, we would talk a little and she even managed to sneek into a few pictures with me. I found out that she was going to be leaving for college in a few weeks and was going to be attending my alma matter (Asbury College).
August 1998
Jen had written me a letter after camp, talking about her camp experience and her brother and her anxiety and excitement about leaving for college. I decided to write her back.
August 24 1998
Jen had already started college down in Kentucky when I was sent on a business trip to do some video editing at my alma matter. I arrived there on the 24th (a Monday). I ran into Jen and two other mutual friends almost immediately. We met up that night to play euchre.
August 27, 1998
After a a few days of meeting up each night, I was hard at work in the editing suite when Jen brought me over some homemade cookies. Later, I would find out that she had burnt the first batch. I had finished up editing around 6:30 and Jen and I decided to go for a walk. We walked up to the softball field, on a big hill and watched the sunset. We talked for a very long time. Jen and I both view this date, that day, as a monumental day in our 'relationship'.
Labor Day Weekend 1998
I made up some excuse to head back down to Kentucky and thus another 6 hour journey was necessary. I had two sisters living in the area and they just had to be visited... in reality, I was there to see Jen. I had asked her and her friends to go hiking. When I went to pick them up, it was only Jen. I think she told the others not to come. She wanted some alone time with me. I didn't complain, by the way. That night, I walked her back to her dorm... we could have kissed for the first time... but we didn't. That would have to wait.
Oct. 24th 1998
I had returned one more time to work on an editing project. Jen and I had been talking a lot on the phone but I was at a crossroads. I was 24 and she was 18. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I seriously contemplated cutting things off... just because of the difficulty of having a long distance relationship. We went out that Saturday night and saw Dead Man on Campus followed by dinner at Ruby Tuesday, a strole through Joseph-Beth bookstore and then to Wal Mart. Everything about that October night was right. It felt right. True love was blossoming. We connected with each other. That night, I kissed her for the first time.
Thanksgiving 1998
I went to meet her family and to see her the day after Thanksgiving. I drove an hour and a half, walked up to the front door, rang the doorbell and when she opened it... I knew she was the one. She was wearing a red Old Navy v neck sweater , jeans and red socks. We were engaged a year later, on the day after Thanksgiving... married August 12, 2000.
my story:
July 1998
I was a counselor at a church youth camp for a week in late July/early August. There was this girl, Jen, who had recently graduated and was a camper for the last time. At CYF camp, I helped coordinate the audio/visual for worship and the afternoon recreation (soccer, to be exact). During the worship sessions, I noticed young Jen sitting oh-so-close to the sound board. Occasionally, I would notice out of the corner of my eye a dead stare coming from the eyes of one fine girl. As a counselor, I quickly put the "this girls hot" thoughts out of my head.
Jen signed up to play soccer and somehow always manged to get on my team. She was very quiet, but she made her presence known. during one game, she threw the ball in to me and I headed it into the goal. We gave each other high-5's. That was our first physical contact. Her younger brother was in my cabin and she was sort of looking after him and tha gave her a reason to talk to me. So throughout the week, we would talk a little and she even managed to sneek into a few pictures with me. I found out that she was going to be leaving for college in a few weeks and was going to be attending my alma matter (Asbury College).
August 1998
Jen had written me a letter after camp, talking about her camp experience and her brother and her anxiety and excitement about leaving for college. I decided to write her back.
August 24 1998
Jen had already started college down in Kentucky when I was sent on a business trip to do some video editing at my alma matter. I arrived there on the 24th (a Monday). I ran into Jen and two other mutual friends almost immediately. We met up that night to play euchre.
August 27, 1998
After a a few days of meeting up each night, I was hard at work in the editing suite when Jen brought me over some homemade cookies. Later, I would find out that she had burnt the first batch. I had finished up editing around 6:30 and Jen and I decided to go for a walk. We walked up to the softball field, on a big hill and watched the sunset. We talked for a very long time. Jen and I both view this date, that day, as a monumental day in our 'relationship'.
Labor Day Weekend 1998
I made up some excuse to head back down to Kentucky and thus another 6 hour journey was necessary. I had two sisters living in the area and they just had to be visited... in reality, I was there to see Jen. I had asked her and her friends to go hiking. When I went to pick them up, it was only Jen. I think she told the others not to come. She wanted some alone time with me. I didn't complain, by the way. That night, I walked her back to her dorm... we could have kissed for the first time... but we didn't. That would have to wait.
Oct. 24th 1998
I had returned one more time to work on an editing project. Jen and I had been talking a lot on the phone but I was at a crossroads. I was 24 and she was 18. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I seriously contemplated cutting things off... just because of the difficulty of having a long distance relationship. We went out that Saturday night and saw Dead Man on Campus followed by dinner at Ruby Tuesday, a strole through Joseph-Beth bookstore and then to Wal Mart. Everything about that October night was right. It felt right. True love was blossoming. We connected with each other. That night, I kissed her for the first time.
Thanksgiving 1998
I went to meet her family and to see her the day after Thanksgiving. I drove an hour and a half, walked up to the front door, rang the doorbell and when she opened it... I knew she was the one. She was wearing a red Old Navy v neck sweater , jeans and red socks. We were engaged a year later, on the day after Thanksgiving... married August 12, 2000.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Does a CD spin when you listen to it?
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO AND ENJOYING WITH MY WHOLE BEING
(a.k.a Bands You Should Check Out For Yourself)
The Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl: Volume I
The Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl: Volume II
Interpol - Antics
M83 - Before the Dawn Heals Us
The Innocence Mission - Befriended
Explosions in the Sky - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place
Autolux - Future Perfect
Earlimart - Treble & Tremble
Kasabian - s/t
(a.k.a Bands You Should Check Out For Yourself)
The Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl: Volume I
The Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl: Volume II
Interpol - Antics
M83 - Before the Dawn Heals Us
The Innocence Mission - Befriended
Explosions in the Sky - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place
Autolux - Future Perfect
Earlimart - Treble & Tremble
Kasabian - s/t
Friday, February 11, 2005
my wife's dream-like state last night.
so last night, after what seemed like hours of sleep (but was really only probably minutes) my wife sits up in bed, doesn't say a word and just stares at me. I wake up and ask her what was going on and if everything was o.k.
"Oh my gosh! We forgot to put the cookies away!" she said.
then she rolled over and went back to sleep like nothing happened.
she had made a chocolate chip cookies earlier.
"Oh my gosh! We forgot to put the cookies away!" she said.
then she rolled over and went back to sleep like nothing happened.
she had made a chocolate chip cookies earlier.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
i recognized this guy from American Idol from Trading Spaces and from this stupid gameshow called Taboo that lasted all of a couple of months
so i recognized this guy who said he was a nanny on American Idol this week. he's been in a couple of commercials and on Trading Spaces. He's a big dork. I'm a bigger dork for recognizing him. He said his name was Christopher Noll (I suppose that is his real name) but he may be better known as Chris Wylde. He's had a show on Comedy Central and has been in a few movies, including Joe Dirt and some other crap.
yeah. I watch American Idol.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
today is my birthday.
just thought you should know. by the way, i chipped a tooth last night while eating a salad, of all things, at the Golden Corral. I don't think anyone should have to work on your birthday. I think I would like presents. Somebody give me an iPod. Somebody else could pay off our bills. Regardless, I will probably pick up some CD's because I am obsessed with music. It's my birthday, afterall.
I think my wife and I are going to go see Million Dollar Baby this weekend. I shall post a full review if that happens. (Last year on my birthday we went to see Along Came Polly. That was a waste of money. ) We may also go to Steak N' Shake or Bennegins. By the way, does anybody know what's up with Chi Chi's? That used to be a somewhat fancy restaurant with a long wait. Now they are all closing down. Sorry 'bout their luck, I guess.
I remember when I was 10. I had a birthday party at our new house. Donnie & Mike Carsner and David Hickman and Monte Macecko all came. My mom made a cake. I got some GI Joe's and a walkman cassette player. I was allowed to buy a tape, too. I ordered Police - Synchronicity. It came in the mail and the case was cracked. Later on that year, Donnie spewed chunks of Chicken McNuggeets in the hallway next to the bathroom. I remember playing a lot of ping pong back in those days. We had a table in the basement. Also, we all played baseball out in the back yard. One time my friend Billy ran into the clothesline and almost had a concussion, except he didn't. The guy who lived behind us used to skin deer in his garage. To this day, I remember the stench that would accompany us during our baseball games.
I plan on having a vanilla milkshake later today, 'cuz it's my birthday. Honestly, I am just happy being alive and having a wonderful family and a wonderful child in waiting. There is nothing more rewarding than that. That is the best thing a 31 year old man could ask for. Plus, my wife is hot, too and my 2 year old son is the coolest kid in town.
Memories, music, family and ice cream... not a better thing to have on my birthday.
I think my wife and I are going to go see Million Dollar Baby this weekend. I shall post a full review if that happens. (Last year on my birthday we went to see Along Came Polly. That was a waste of money. ) We may also go to Steak N' Shake or Bennegins. By the way, does anybody know what's up with Chi Chi's? That used to be a somewhat fancy restaurant with a long wait. Now they are all closing down. Sorry 'bout their luck, I guess.
I remember when I was 10. I had a birthday party at our new house. Donnie & Mike Carsner and David Hickman and Monte Macecko all came. My mom made a cake. I got some GI Joe's and a walkman cassette player. I was allowed to buy a tape, too. I ordered Police - Synchronicity. It came in the mail and the case was cracked. Later on that year, Donnie spewed chunks of Chicken McNuggeets in the hallway next to the bathroom. I remember playing a lot of ping pong back in those days. We had a table in the basement. Also, we all played baseball out in the back yard. One time my friend Billy ran into the clothesline and almost had a concussion, except he didn't. The guy who lived behind us used to skin deer in his garage. To this day, I remember the stench that would accompany us during our baseball games.
I plan on having a vanilla milkshake later today, 'cuz it's my birthday. Honestly, I am just happy being alive and having a wonderful family and a wonderful child in waiting. There is nothing more rewarding than that. That is the best thing a 31 year old man could ask for. Plus, my wife is hot, too and my 2 year old son is the coolest kid in town.
Memories, music, family and ice cream... not a better thing to have on my birthday.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
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