taking a moment

while reading Mark Yaconelli's book Contemplative Youth Ministry i was driven to spend a few moments in quiet... to become aware of surroundings... the colros, shapes & smells... to listen to the noises that surround my ears... to gently direct my attention toward God... so quietly i turned my awareness to the presense of God within all that i was able to see, hear and feel.

Without forcing anything - I spent just a few moments trying, as the book promted, to open up to the Divine Love within the reality of the moment.

As i was sitting there - resting... feeling a needed moment of rest, my eyes closed. As i was trying to 'take in' God my mind began to picture images... the images were scenes from a hospital... with those images the word RISK appeared in my mind.

My ears began to focus on the words of the music: my iPod was on shuffle. the song of the moment: Muse - Unintended from the album Showbiz.

The lyrics to the song began to resonate within me. was it a coinsidence that this song was playing? probably not.

Here were the lyrics that i heard (yes - i looked them up afterword):

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before


First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before


Before you


Yeah, i am sure that this song is about a girl... but i couldn't help see the corelation between our relationships with other humans and our relationship with God.

don't we always feel like we need to get our life in order before we go to God? don't we feel like we have to fix ourselves first - and yet, God and God alone is the only one capable of fixing us, mere broken vessels with broken hearts that can only be mended by the Maker and giver of love eternal?

Shouldn't God be the one we'll always love? and even if we resist him He loves us still. Unconditional.

that is where Risk comes in to play. it takes risk for us to be fixed... because we become used to the pain... to the point that the pain gives us security... it's a trap... a deception...

were my images of a hospital tied to the word 'Risk' and the lyrics to that Muse song?

whatever it is or was - it makes me believe all the more that God can and will use any means to speak to us... He'll do anything to get our attention so that we may feel and experience his love. i think that this is all about LOVE!

"I love you without condition. come to me. my arms are open. a hospital can not fix you... I can! I can heal you. I can comfort you. It may seem like a Risk for you to trust in me... for you to see my Love for you... Believe it or not, I understand Risk. My son, i placed him up on the altar as a human sacrifice - so that you may get to know me... so that you may have life. fullness. happiness. joy. know this: my Love for you is more beautiful than anything in this created world. Don't resist..."
- God



Thank you, Mark Yaconelli, for this activity.

THE 10: things to do before your number is up

10. Travel on old Route 66, stopping along the way to photograph your journey.
9. Go to an old movie house / Palace-type theatre. (you know, the one's with a pipe organ, a 'moving' starry ceiling and lots of gargoyles). Take in a foreign film there.
8. Own at least one Beatles album or CD.
7. Buy a record player. Go to a used record store. Raid the 10 cent bin. Spend at least one Saturday morning chilling out, listening to your finds.
6. Stay up all nite driving around... with no destination in mind.
5. Create something. Build it. Draw it. Paint it. Write it. Make it... whatever... just create... be creative (that's part of your DNA, you know). Express yourself through your own creativity.
4. Read through the Bible.
3. Listen to Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys. Embrace the genius of Brian Wilson.
2. Spend 24 hours in total silence. Journal every thought that ye are able to write.
1. Sell all of your possessions and be free.

what has God done for me?

a few weeks ago i was privilaged enough to lead a group of teens on a mission trip to Northwest Ohio for a week of Christ-like service. you may be asking - 'why go on a mission trip to Sandusky, Ohio?' why not go to New Orleans or the Congo or to some inner city or appalatian community? i don't know - but i guess now in hindsight i could say that i know for certain that we were sent there for a reason.

I Will Go Where You Send Me.

We worked in a soup kitchen for the week (among other things). it was at this place where God spoke to me - or maybe it would be better to say that God showed me things... words weren't necessary. i got the message. the message was love. the message was food. the message was hope. the message was 'what you do to the least of these, you do to me.'

not once during the week, while working there was a voiced raised in disagreement. not once was there a sense of disunity. it was as if all evil was rebuked and disposed of outside the front door on the warm Sandusky concrete.

i think i learned what it means to be blessed by God... i think i learned what it means to have God at the center of everything...

i had a chance to talk to Pastor Lonnie - the man who founded the Victory Soup Kitchen. His church was meeting in a YMCA for a number of years... before building a church facilitY, they purchased a house and renovated it - turning it in to the soup kitchen. amid resistence - they perservered. early on, while sitting with a homeless man who was being fed @ the soup kitchen, Pastor Lonnie was nearly stumped by a question posed to him by the hard-pressed man who looked him straight in the eye. "What has God ever done for me?" the man asked Pastor. While searching for the right words and not finding them, Pastor Lonnie shared with me that before his feeble attempts to formulate a response would come to fruition 7 words came out of his mouth - as if the Holy Spirit had spoke them: "He's feeding you this meal. isn't he?"

The Lord God takes care of his creation... of his people. The birds of the air need not worry about tomorrow.

God provides. Abide in him.

My perspective has now changed a bit. I can only hope that i will begin to see all the ways God has provided for my needs... I strive to give Him all the glory... i strive to let my pride fall down daily.

And yet as i write this i am reminded that the Lord has placed within me something deep...deeper than this revelation... something that i do not yet comprehend... but i know it is in me... and i know it is from Him...

patience...



Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
PSALM 34

firefly

Firefly
(Bergquist/Detweiler)
recording: Drunkard's Prayer












My memory will not fail me now

Mmm firefly in the night sky
Only lights on the rise
And I need you so firefly

One satellite with a lazy eye
Caught me by surprise
With an ache in my belly
And a taste in my mouth for fire

My memory will not fail me now

Mmm firefly in the night sky
Only lights on the rise
After the killing frost
Where do you go
Firefly

My memory will not fail me now
And the rest is history

what]cha[waitin[for]

random jawbrockery.101.






listening to: Q: Best Of 86/06 (14 classic tracks covered by 14 essential artists)

just watched: Eight Men Out

wikipedia moment: researching the historical accuracy of the HBO series Deadwood [and finding other info HERE].

contemplation: in the wake of the death of a friend from my church - death has been on my mind.

reading: Ecclesiastes

further contemplation: everything is meaninless

signs and wonders: watching a child enjoy the summer sun, playing in the grass, stomping on weeds and swimming in the pool.

thinking about: buzzing my hair

enjoying: afternoon cat-naps

game of choice: EA Sports NFL Head Coach (pretending to be Bill Cowher)

if i had more time: i'd learn the ins and outs of my new Mac.

mindless confabulation: about what it's like to live in Ohio during the month of July.

reflection: the past 6 weeks entailing an extended weekend away, the firing of two co-workers, time spent @ annual conference for the East Ohio Conference of the United Methodist Church, my week at the CYF youth camp, figuring out what to do with the vision God has laid before me, giving thanks for a wonderful week long mission trip to Sandusky and surrounding parts.

wishing: upon a star

hoping: to learn what it means to be on a budget

dreaming: of vacation

still dreaming: of more vacation

loving: my wife - cuz she is hot.

procrastinating: because it's a lost art.

OUT.

It's Been A While

wow.
it.s been. a, month.

i have been home only for about a week out of the past 30 days.

home again, i am.

maybe something interesting will emerge from my feeble mind.

if it does... i will teel you.

*