even as i sit here

at this very moment, the only sounds surrounding me are the not so smooth strokes of my fingers on the keyboard and the climate-controlled air being blown out of the vent above my desk. i can't help but think how God is in this time of silence. i rather enjoy it.

this morning, while walking over across the parking lot, the smell of a skunks ripe scent clashed with the cool air of the morning. the crows cried out to the world from atop their perch. the sun wished itself upon us - but the clouds were surrounding it as if to smother it.

earlier, upon my undesired rise (for i wished to remain in a restful bliss for a bit longer) i prepared myself and attended to my typical thursday morning functions at the middle school. i arrived just after lights first appearance in the day sky above. a morning Bible study with teachers, students and youth pastors was in full swing. the discussion dealt with the company you keep. unfortunate as it was, nae a few of my youth heard the words of truth. for the company they keep, it seems kept them away from the meat of the Word this morning.

contemplation of commitment and contentment race through my mind.
peacefulness of mornings like this are ruined in the lives of the content.
even the crow is committed to his calling... if he weren't he'd perish.

i didn't want to wake up, but i'm glad i did.
so many others are hitting snooze.

am i not awake enough so that others might desire that which brings me life? why do they not want my caffeine? some are very selective... they arise when it's convenient. not the sun. not the crow. not the air, or the electric which lights my room.

even as i sit here i can't help but ask God for inner peace to spread - and may i be that vessel of peace that continues to bring Good news.


i don't really know why i am writing this.

words.

lyric

iPod on shuffle - random lyrics from a day's worth of play


"Kiss me before you go. I'm going nowhere" - Barfly by Ray LaMontagne
"Can I believe in what I don't trust?" - City of Delusion by Muse
"I've been looking for satisfaction." - The Touch by Cush
"It's up to you not to sing along when all of the feeling is gone" - Requiem by Jump
"The words I wrote, I wrote down. Just seem empty there. But found the page." - Sentence by The Appleseed Cast
"Being watched like a TV makes sleeping much harder." - Under the Gun by Waking Ashland

bread

freshly baked bread.
grab hold of the smell.
let it fill your senses.

hungry yet?
probably so.

been hungry for a long time.
nothing really gratifies.

5000+ were once fed with the five and two.
bread was multiplied.
lifted up with thanksgiving.

and all who ate were satisfied.
sheep without a shepherd. now satisfied.
compassion given - satisfaction received.

stomachs full. satisfied.
physically satisfied.

SATISFIED.

SATISFIED!

you get that?

satisfied at the hands of the One who satisfies more than physical needs but spiritual needs.
the Bread of Life.

i've got all i need. i should be satisfied.
must be eating the wrong bread.
filling my stomach with the wrong food.

i crave the Bread of Life.
want/need to digest it continually.

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness*

Can you smell the bread?
take... and eat... do this in remembrance of me...



*Snow Patrol - Make This Go On Forever

Greatest Hits

i've been a fan of the tv show Lost since it premiered on September 22, 2004. i never miss an episode and i've watched every episode again on DVD. this January I re-watched all of Season 3 in preparation for the new season of Lost to begin. Episode 69 in the series was titled "Greatest Hits". Charlie was thinking that he was about to die so he spent some time thinking back about the highlights of his life. He then wrote them down and instructed that they be delivered to Claire.

That got me to thinking... what are my 'greatest hits?' i tried to avoid the cliche like my wedding day and the birth of my children. those days are obvious highlights - that goes without saying... i was trying to think of the kind of obscure things that have been etched in my mind... my greatest hits. i'll list mine below... (i'd encourage you to think of your 'greatest hits', too)

(in no particular order)

• Seeing George Brett at a Spring Training baseball game as part of Spring Break Road Trip - 1996
• CYF Camp 1992 - my faith becomes my own
• Watching the sunset with Jen on a hill near the softball field at Asbury College, Wilmore, KY - Aug. 1998
• Feeding Micah his first bottle 5 years ago
• Preaching at CYF in 2006
• Going to Crestline, Ohio with my Dad - to learn the family history and to see the famous Roundhouse that my grandfather used to work as an Engineer for New York Central.
• Directing my first big concert video production Ichthus '95 & '96 (Audio Adrenaline and Petra respectively)

There are others - if I would take the time to think... but for now - these are my Greatest Hits. I suppose I could always come up with 'Volume 2' at a later date.

----------------
Now playing: Angels And Airwaves - The Adventure
via FoxyTunes

a couple of YouTube gems

i stumbled upon these youtube clips this week. one is old school... from when Sixpence None the Richer appeared on Letterman (probably circa '99, maybe '00?) I love it how Leigh Nash explains to Letterman about the name of the band.



the second clip (unable to be embedded into this blog) is from this year's Oscars - pay attention to the second half of the acceptance speech from Marketa Irglova (for Best Song - from the movie Once.)
watch ONCE acceptance speech YouTube video here

transcript here

with no disrespect to the people of oklahoma

what if celebrities moved...

creative writing

i am currently reading this book and will be attempting some of the creative writing exercises it suggests. i am really excited for this new challenge.

i have this strange dream to write a screenplay. i've had this dream now for about 12+ years. maybe this book will give me the brainstorms i need to take on that challenge... or maybe not.

i look forward to being creative again.


----------------
Now playing: The Album Leaf - Another Day (Revised)
via FoxyTunes

like panes of glass

looking up at the moon. a sliver, slightly tilted to the right.
laying on the ground... my back is pushing the grass back towards the earth.
a fire burns... the crackle and flicker tells me so. i don't need to look at the flame to know it is there.
it's cold. but not 'i-can-see-my-breath' cold.
a rustling of leaves to my left.
the whistle of the gentle breeze across my face.

the surface of the sky is black with speckles.
stars sprinkle the sky like dust scattered in the hues of evening sun.
dust in light.
stars at night.
and shavings of the moon light up the horizon.
reflected like panes of glass.

silence expanded too far in every direction.
this modern love... a portrait of an image that can not be fully grasped.
i might as well be staring at a painting in an art museum.
i look and gaze and try to see it for all it's worth. i cannot look away.
i am drawn in - searching for it's inner beauty.
trying to figure out what it is that captivates me.
i don't have an answer.
i don't need an answer.
i just need to remember that it captivates me.
i just need to remember to look at it from time to time.
i just need to remember that it is beautiful.
i connect with the canvas like the paintbrush connects with imagination.
the flickering spark catches my eye. i sit up.
shake the leaves off of my back...
and warm myself by the fire.
i am about to be drawn in again for the very first time.

SNOW!

the snow fell down in mass. it didn't quit. i don't think i've ever seen anything like it! it all started friday morning around 10am... by late afternoon we had 6 or 7 inches... then we had a short break in the storm. but then... after midnight it snowed non stop until probably 7 pm Saturday. by the storms end we had 16 inches of snow in our front yard.


everything was canceled this weekend... including the Winter Jam retreat that was to have around 250 senior high youth attend. We've pushed it back to April 4- 6 (Spring Jam perhaps?)

we had a lot of fun playing in it yesterday and look forward to a nice time out in the snow this afternoon. enjoy the pictures!

snow!!!

seeing






this is a good picture we get a good sense of how these people live and though there is sadness in it and though it is hard to face, we must look at it because it is truth.

quote from Avijit from the documentary Born into Brothels












Kids with Cameras
pictures taken by the children of the Red light district of Calcutta, India - documented in the film Born into Brothels.



















stained glass by Avijit

Please, Let's Try Again (again)

the second chance. it's beautiful isn't it?
think when your a kid... "just one more time... just one more time."

for his birthday, my son got a nerf basketball hoop that now hangs on the back of front door in the foyer. He couldn't wait to play it... and to play it with someone. it took him a while to get the hang of it, being that the rim and net are a good 7 feet off the ground... pretty high for a boy who's 3 and a half feet tall. he kept trying and trying... wanting to play more and more. it was time for dinner and he kept saying "just one more time... just one more time."

beautiful. the second chance. the do-over. if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.














i was thinking about the image from the Sistine Chapel created by Michelangelo, commonly known as The Creation of Adam. You can see God's hand stretched far - with his finger, reaching out to connect with Adam... and yet Adam lazily reaches back.
"I'm too tired... I've got things to do. I don't have time..."
And God continues to reach... again and again. "Just one more time... Just one more time."

He longs for us to unite with him.

when we're united - we're tied to Him.

switch around the letters though... move the 'i' in united and you get... untied.
united. untied.
when i move... the bond is broken... but God's hand is outstretched as if to say "Please, let's try again."

My son's joy wasn't complete until he made that final basket before dinner. 'one more time' brought great gladness to his face, heart, mind and soul. Satisfaction.

The Father says to us "one more time" because he knows what will bring about joy and satisfaction. it's a relationship with the One who loves us so much, searches for us lost sheep and celebrates our homecoming.