25 Albums tht Made Me (with explanation)

on Facebook i was tagged when a friend of mine completed a survey titled 'The 25 Albums that Made Me'. I replied with my own list. I'll explain the reasons i chose the albums that i chose. these aren't necessarily my 25 all time fav. albums, but more albums that had a huge impact on me.

enjoy.

(in no particular order)

1 U2 - The Joshua Tree
probably my all time favorite album. i remember the first time i heard the song With or Without You on the radio sitting in the front seat of a friends car. My sister had this album on cassette and i always seemed to get my hands on it. This opened the door to a passionate love for all things U2. that passion hasn't waned since.
2 The Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl vol I & II
I can't separate these two albums... they were released two months apart and are virtually one cohesive piece of atmospheric musical bliss when played back to back. i love how every song blends into one. this album opened my eyes to a whole different style of emotion found in lyric and instrumentation.
3 South - From Here On In
I stumbled upon this band when i saw their video for Paint the Silence on MTV2. I found a free download of that song and i was deeply intrigued. I searched and finally found this album and a newfound love for Britpop and British alternative rock was born. I still tend to lean towards music and artists from across the Atlantic... all because of this album. Listening to it is like spending the afternoon in an art museum.
4 Portishead - Roseland Live NYC
Portishead is not the most 'normal' sounding group. Their self-titled second album was my first exposure to them. I loved the eclectic mix of haunting vocals with instrumentation put on wax and then sampled with a DJ. I still have a copy of this Live album on video cassette. I think i am drawn to their different style... not like any music made in America.
5 The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
I had always heard of this album and remember the cheesy album cover with members of the Beach Boys at a petting zoo. I was even familiar with some of the classics on the album (mainly 'Wouldn't It Be Nice'). Probably 5 years ago or so I was watching one of those VH1 specials about the 10 greatest albums of all time. I've always been drawn to lists. I had a collection of Rolling Stone magazines with lists of best albums, songs, guitarists, etc. This VH1 show had Pet Sounds and Sgt. Peppers (by the Beatles) at the top of their list. I was intrigued. I went on a quest to find some of these classic albums and to add them to my collection. After purchasing Pet Sounds and listening to it through, i was blown away. What a musical masterpiece. And reading about the history of this recording made it even more special. It's one for the ages... a must have for any music guru.
6 Johnny Cash - Live at Folsom Prison
Everything about Johnny Cash is rough and tough and full of bravado. At Folsom Prison is unique in that it's a live record and yet it's probably more popular than any studio recording he's released. I've always been drawn to Cash and this album is special because my 5 year old son and my father (God rest his soul) both cherished this recording. Cash's love of the railroad connected me with my father as he loved trains. So does my son. This is a sentimental choice for me.
7 Decoder Ring - Somersault
A soundtrack to an Austrailian film, I stumbled upon this band and album when, for a brief time about three years ago I subscribed to eMusic. I liked the sound, bought the album, and then a few years later, finally saw the film. I subsequently found other albums by Decoder Ring - and enjoy them very much. I think the pursuit of other Decoder Ring recordings furthered my love for 'hard-to-find'/'rarely-heard-of' music. I connect with the rhythms of Decoder Ring.
8 Manic Street Preachers - Everything Must Go
I was in an indie record shop somewhere in Los Angeles in the fall of 1996. I've always loved going to indie shops. This was the kind of shop lots of vintage records that you could spin as well as bargain bin cd's for a dollar. Most of the cd's in that bin were trash - but every once in a while you'd find a gem. I found the single 'A Design For Life' by Manic Street Preachers and bought it strictly based on the album art. I loved the single and did all that I could to track down the entire album. The fact that i discovered this band randomly means a lot. I searched for years for other Manic albums and some have been hard to find here in America. Everything Must Go holds a special place in my heart for many reasons... one being the history behind the album and that it was recorded after one of the Manics, Richey Edwards disappeared, never to be seen again. A few years ago I was trying to track down an import of their 1994 album, The Holy Bible at a local record shop (it was never released in America). I asked the owner if he had any Manic Street Preachers or knew anything about them. He replied "I know one of them is missing."
9 The Prayer Chain - Mercury
A chilling record from start to finish. This album reminds me of my college years and is part of a deep connection of music and friendship with my college buddies. I've often wanted to make a movie with Mercury serving as the soundtrack. Elements of the album are haunting and disoriented. The sound is uniquely it's own. I dream Mercury.
10 Underworld - Second Toughest in the Infants
My love for electronica can be traced back to the film Trainspotting. Underworld contributed a couple of songs for that movie/soundtrack. I liked what i heard; found a copy of the Pearl's Girl EP; loved it and then purchased the album from which that song was on. I like Underworld because their music plays like a soundtrack in my head.
11 Future Sound of London - Dead Cities
At the same record shop in which i found the Manic Street Preachers - A Design For Life single, I found My Kingdom by FSOL. There was something different about the music. It was various sounds meshed together that formed something unique. Dead Cities is a Kaleidoscope of sorts... a wall of sound. I've always been drawn to creative sounds and that is why i love this album. We Have Explosive is a timeless track, the best on the album.
12 Michael W. Smith - The Big Picture
Might seem like a weird choice - but I wore this cassette album out. in the fall of 1986 i went to my first concert ever. MWS and The Big Picture was his most rocking album, as was the concert. I have vivid memories of that show.
13 Amy Grant - Lead Me On
It came out at the height of my Christian music fascination. It was not like other Christian albums. It was not mainstream... and at the time, Christian artists didn't make these kind of albums. I've always liked the fact that it broke barriers.
14 3rd Bass - The Cactus Album
1988-89 was the peak of Rap & Hip hop (in my opinion). The Cactus Album had some really great sampling with some creative MC's. Being that they were one of the few white rappers who could actually rap. For awhile, back then, i had dreams of being an MC like the guys in 3rd Bass. God had other plans for me.
15 The Police - Synchronicity
It was the second cassette i ever had (Michael Jackson - Thriller was the first). Needless to say, Synchronicity got more airplay on my walkman. It was the first album to consume my time.
16 Nirvana - Nevermind
Who can forget the first time they saw Smells Like Teen Spirit on MTV? Obviously that album changed things... and grunge became part of the mainstream as a result. Maybe it was the 'i don't care about anything' attitude of Kurt Cobain and maybe it was the timing of it's release (Senior year of high school, beginning of college). I connected with it because it was easy not to care about anything then... the stresses of college made it easy to not care.
17 Explosions in the Sky - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place
Progressive rock, Post-rock or whatever you want to call it... Most of Explosions in the Sky is uncategorizable (is that a word?). EITS brings something so unique to the table - their music is all instrumental. I've always love the instrumental track. Their music - and this album is filled with so much raw emotion. I can't explain it. I connect with their songs more than any other band. If i were to be honest, i probably appreciate EITS more than even U2. hard to believe. Seeing them in concert last year was one of the top 10 things that have ever happened to me. (live video)
18 The Chemical Brothers - Dig Your Own Hole
After my return from Film School in California, i had been exposed to lots of new sounds. The big beats of The Chemical Brothers was unbelievable. Along with Underworld, The Chemical Brothers were one of my most played artists from the late '90's. That was a pivotal point in my life, leading up to my eventual engagement and marriage.
19 Over the Rhine - The Darkest Night of the Year
A holiday album that can be played year round. The first and last songs (both instrumentals) are bookends to a simplistic, genuine approach to a simplistic, genuine event, the birth of Christ. Those instrumentals draw me in every time.
20 Sixpence None the Richer - This Beautiful Mess
My roommate in college, freshman year, had the first cd by Sixpence None the Richer - so i had many chances to hear them and grew to like them more and more. When This Beautiful Mess came out, it struck a cord with so many. It alternative christian music at its best. It takes me back to seeing them play live many times in the mid '90's. i get chills when i listen to this album even today.
21 Radiohead - OK Computer
I mean seriously.. do i really have to explain the impact this album had on so many? After hearing the first single, Paranoid Android - and it's epic sound scape were captivating. I bought the album at Best Buy and fell in love. Literally. The documentary film Meeting People is Easy makes the album that much more enjoyable. The turmoil of celebrity seemed to make the music all the more emotional. This album is a huge part of me and is still listened to frequently. The climax of Let Down gives me chills every time.
22 DJ Shadow - Endtroducing...
I love the mixing of sounds from many other pieces of music. With Garage Band and other music maker programs, i've often attempted to recreate what DJ Shadow does. I've never been gutsy enough to even attempt to DJ with two turntables and a microphone - but i've often dreamed of it. This was another album that i originally purchased based on the album art alone. What a pleasant surprise. In some ways - i think one of my best attributes is the ability to 'remix' things - meshing together music, video, words or whatever - to a single purpose. This comes in handy in youth ministry and keeps things fresh, i think... sort of a 'remixer' of the Gospel, possibly.
23 Sigur Rós - ( )
The dawn of the message board in the early 2000's led to many discussions on various boards about music. It was easy to be exposed to new things. This is where i heard of Sigur Rós for the first time. i bought ( ) - yeah, that's the name of the album... and was surprised to see virtually no text on the cd of album art. There was no track listing at all. Upon placing the cd in my computer, the song titles came up Untitled 1, Untitled 2, and so on. Listening to the album brought to life another unique sound. The vocals were mostly in 'hopelandic', a made up language - not in the native Icelandic tongue. It's just a beautiful album. It has more meaning to me as it was in heavy rotation around the time that my son, Micah was born. I used songs from this album when i edited together videos of his first days on earth.
24 Led Zeppelin - II
I think most guys from my generation at one point in time get into Classic Rock. Led Zeppelin epitomizes classic rock. Led Zeppelin II is timeless and makes me feel like i was part of generation that preceded me. The instrumental jam during Whole Lot of Love is not like any other classic rock sound. Mody Dick was often played to get us pumped up before a major event in college, although my roommate Steve and I swore that something bad would end up happening if we played it... that song still freaks me out.
25 Rush - Counterparts
Rush has never really received the respect they are certainly due. Counterparts came out my freshman year of college down at Asbury. an upperclassman down the hall listened to them a lot. His name was Brent. I looked up to Brent. A bunch of us then went to see the Counterparts tour live in Cincinnati and it was pretty sweet. I became a huge Rush fan and spend a good amount of time after that seeking out as many Rush cd's as i could find. College is a monumental time for many... this album kick started my time after high school and made me feel connected.

wow. i can't believe i've spent so much time thinking about this and writing this. it was probably overdone... easy for me to do when it comes to something like this.

if you've bothered to read it all - good for you... i hope it wasn't a complete waste of time. hey, if nothing else, this gave me a chance to reminisce. music has always been a big part of my life... now you see why.

New Life (is just around the corner)

new life will be upon us soon. ready for the old self to die...


photo by jen beck (her blog)

this photo will be used for a future youth worship gathering in march where (among other things) we will watch this.

songs that compel me

compel |kəmˈpel|
verb ( -pelled , -pelling ) [ trans. ]
force or oblige (someone) to do something : a sense of duty compelled Harry to answer her questions.
• bring about (something) by the use of force or pressure : they may compel a witness's attendance at court by issue of a summons.
• poetic/literary drive forcibly : by heav'n's high will compell'd from shore to shore.

last nite my wife went to bed early so i went to bed early, too. she begged me not to turn on the tv in the bedroom... or at least to give her 10 minutes to fall asleep first. i decided to go get my iPod and listen to some music as a precursor to falling asleep.

i put on The Best of Simon & Garfunkel and the entry way to my lucid sleep was nothing short of blissfulness.

i began to think about the songs of old and about how much passion was in them. some of the music these days seems to be nothing but fluff... no substance. i suppose there are plenty of songs throughout the history of modern music that have been shallow... but none-the-less, i lay there in bed last night and i was compelled.

i am not sure what i was or am compelled to do... maybe that'll be worked out. first, i thought i'd list songs old and new that compel me.

Simon & Garfunkel - The Boxer
Simon & Garfunkel - The Only Living Boy in New York (thank you to Zach Braff and the film Garden State)
Simon & Garfunkel - Dangling Conversation
Bod Dylan - A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall
Bob Dylan - Only a Pawn in their Game
Bob Dylan - Visions of Johanna
Bob Dylan - Gotta Serve Somebody
The Beatles - Because
The Beatles - Medley at the end of Abbey Road (You Never Give Me Your Money, Sun King, Mean Mr. Mustard, Polythene Pam, She Came in Through the Bathroom Window, Golden Slumbers, Carry That Weight, The End, Her Majesty)
The Beatles - You've Got to Hide Your Love Away
Elton John - Tiny Dancer (thank you to Cameron Crowe and that scene in Almost Famous... hearing that song makes you realize that things are going to be alright.)
Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Around
Johnny Cash - Sunday Morning Coming Down
Neil Young - Heart of Gold
The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter
Jimi Hendrix - Hey Joe
The Talking Heads - Take Me to the River
U2 - Bad
U2 - Elvis Presley and America
Radiohead - Gagging Order
Explosions in the Sky - The Only Moment We Were Alone
Elbow - Scattered Blacks and Whites
Keane - Try Again
Travis - Blue Flashing Light
Nada Surf - Always Love
Over the Rhine - Latter Days
Squarepusher - Tommib (thank you to Sophia Coppola and it's use in the film Lost in Translation)
Underworld - Pearl's Girl
Sigur Rós - Untitled 8 (a.k.a. "Popplagið")
The Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye
Sixpence None the Richer - Bleeding
The Sundays - Can't Be Sure
Muse - Unintended

i could go on but i've already wasted to much time this morning.

a world without selfishness...

would be a world without:

greed
theft
murders
drama queens
steroids in baseball
wars
and terrorism
wall street tycoons with 120 million dollar bonuses
plots of deception
drug addiction
unwanted pregnancies
and abortions
western consumerism
carjacking
ransacked businesses robbed of everything in the middle of the night
fraud
the love of money
overindulgence
1,500 calorie fast food burgers
and clogged arteries
empire building
bombs over bagdad
drug smuggling
the suppression of women in 3rd world cultures
shantytowns
and poverty
bloated bellies
a lack of AIDS medicines in Africa
debt
unemployment
mortgage crisis
stock market crashes
crumbling economies
400 billion dollar profits from oil companies
covetousness
wanting more and more and more
and thinking i have a right to it
pompous behavior
puffed up status
vandalism
divorce
lust
neglected relationships
unforgiveness
so-called christians following political parties over following Jesus
inward church communities expecting 'the lost' to wander in to their sanctuaries
exile
hungry children
homeless men sleeping on park benches
as much guilt
as much pain
as much suffering
injustice
disharmony
this blog post


---

i could go on... and frankly, you could probably add to the list, too.






i'm not striving to be like Jesus enough. i must strive towards humility and grace... and stop wanting so much.

YOUTH MINISTRY: LISTENING PARTY

LISTENING PARTY. YEAH!

On Sunday night, January 25, 2009, our very own Student Action Leadership Team (a.k.a. SALT) took charge of the youth meeting. We proceeded to have a "listening party", so to speak. Each of the 9 members of the leadership team picked a song that was meaningful to them. They designed a whole night of Youth Focus around those songs. We had some discussion... some interaction and activity and we discoverd how God was able to speak to us all... through the music, the videos and the lyrics.

Below are some general notes, as well as video clips that helped make up this Listening Party.

Hope you enjoyed it. Leave us a comment below and tell us what you thought!

Song 1: Corey's choice: Brooks and Dunn - Believe (lyrics)

I raise my hands, bow my head
I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red
They tell me that there's more to life than just what i can see
Oh i believe

QUESTION: Think about older people in your life who have had a positive impact on your life. What did you learn from them? Why did you look up to them?

Song 2: Rachel's choice: Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten (lyrics)

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

ACTIVITY: Youth were invited to write either a dream or a worry on the dry erase board. After the song, the words were erased... symbolic of God being in control of our hopes, dreams and even our worries.

Song 3: Aaron's choice: P.O.D. - Alive (lyrics)

Everyday is a new day
I'm thankful for
Every breath I take
I won't take you for granted (I won't take you for granted)
So I learn from my mistakes
It's beyond my control
Sometimes it's best to let go
Whatever happens
In this lifetime
So I trust in love (so I trust in love)
You have given me
Peace of mind

Song 4: Sam's choice: Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days (lyrics)

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Matthew 1:21 + John 3:16

Song 5: Lacie's Choice: Lenka - The Show (lyrics)

CLICK TO WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO



(Created by P.Barr)

Song 6: Megan's choice: Lazlo Bane - Superman (lyrics)

Are you weary? (Matt. 11:28-20)

Desiring a 'full life'? (John 10:10)

How is your soul? (Matt. 16:26)

What is impossible? (Matt. 19:26)



Song 7: Brian's choice: Attack Attack! - Bro, Ashley's Here (lyrics)

Get up, get up, He's calling your name,
You don't have to be something you're not.
Someday came suddenly and now I'm standing here.
Get up, get up, He's calling your name,
You don't have to be something you're not.
Someday came suddenly and now I'm left standing here.


(Created by P.Barr)

Song 8: Katie's choice: Goo Goo Dolls - Before It's To Late (lyrics)

and the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you dont live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

Take a risk... jump. kind of goes along with our theme for 2008/2009... JUMP!

Katie then showed us a clip from the Gilmore Girls that connects with the song played.


QUESTION: What risks might God be calling you to take? How can you share your faith with the world or show it to all?

Katie then had us go out to the gym and form small groups. We then put puzzles together with quotes written on the connected pieces... quotes about 'risk' and 'living life to the full'. Together, each groups individual puzzles then formed Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

The SALT did a great job leading. I hope you gained some new insight as a result of what they taught us. Leave comments below!

The common theme throughout all of these songs seemed to be:

LIVE LIFE.

We were reminded of John 10:10... Jesus said "I have come to give you life to the fullest."

WORSHIP IDEA: Emerging...

[idea derived, inspired from JoelDanielHarris' blog & the Dr. DKS]
Joel had a contest to see who could use this YouTube clip in worship or some other form... here is what we did...

***

we have a worship service directed towards youth that takes place monthly, called the Breakfast Club.

at our Feb. 1st Breakfast Club the theme was Meltaway. we talked about what we need to do to avoid having our faith ‘melt away’ like snow in 40 degree weather.

get involved in Christian service, tame the tongue, confess, practice sound wisdom, & find and share your faith.

when we find our faith, we have to leave our baggage behind. baggage might be those outside influences that bring unnecessary hurt, anger, fear, etc… Baggage that weighs us down and prevents us from having true faith. We need to dump the baggage, leave the suitcases behind and run toward faith.

when we run towards faith and find God - it is impossible for us to contain our sense of joy and hope.

long story short… o.k. long story, i know, but here is when we got to the EMERGE youtube clip from William Lamson. I showed the clip and talked about how hard it is to contain our faith when we are in tune with God.

it’s like the balloons popping out of the water… they cannot be contained any more… not only do they rise to the surface, but they rise up and float away for all to see. i paralleled this by reminding the students that when they are swimming in a swimming pool, what happens when they try to hold a floaty toy, raft or beach ball underwater… what happens?

eventually the ball or toy will shoot out of the water… it can not be contained for too long.

this is what it looks like when we share our joy and hope and faith rooted in God’s love with others. It can not be contained… not meant to be contained!

one of our ideas that would have gone along with this was to have a 40 gal. tub full of water up on the stage with balloons in the water. we were then going to have a few youth come up and try to hold them under the water.

we secured the balloons, but it proved to be a bigger challenge to get a tub of water… it was possible, but better planning was needed.

none the less, this is how we used ‘Emerge’.

my wife helped me come up with the idea for this.

Tim Beck
Director of Youth Ministry
Christ UMC, Louisville, OH
http://www.alienuth.com

The Christian Culture Survival Guide: The Misadventures of an Outsider on the Inside [REVIEW]

The Christian Culture Survival Guide: The Misadventures of an Outsider on the Inside by Matthew Paul Turner

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
The cover drew me in from the start. Turner hits the nail on the head. with tongue firmly planted in cheek he calls out the church and it's followers. if you can't take a joke you shouldn't read this book.



although some of the chapters neglected to come to any resolution, in my opinion, the book was entertaining and somewhat inspirational in that i know without a shadow of a doubt of whom i desire NOT to be.



too many in the church follow the church instead of Jesus.



Turner call's them out - but in a nonsensical, fun & humorous way. too bad most of the people he is talking about wouldn't get his 'jokes' anyway.



p.s. the church... and christians... we need to change. no wonder the world thinks we're fools. because we are.


View all my reviews.

XLIII Champions

SUPER BOWL XLIII

• 1st Quarter
  • PIT – Jeff Reed 18 yard field goal, 9:45. Steelers 3–0. Drive: 9 plays, 71 yards, 5:15.
• 2nd Quarter
  • PIT – Gary Russell 1 yard run (Jeff Reed kick), 14:01. Steelers 10–0. Drive: 11 plays, 69 yards, 7:12.
  • ARI – Ben Patrick 1 yard pass from Kurt Warner (Neil Rackers kick), 8:31. Steelers 10–7. Drive: 9 plays, 83 yards, 5:27.
  • PIT – James Harrison 100 yard interception return (Jeff Reed kick), 0:00. Steelers 17–7.
• 3rd Quarter
  • PIT – Jeff Reed 21 yard field goal, 2:11. Steelers 20–7. Drive: 16 plays, 79 yards, 8:39.
• 4th Quarter
  • ARI – Larry Fitzgerald 1 yard pass from Kurt Warner (Neil Rackers kick), 7:33. Steelers 20–14. Drive: 8 plays, 87 yards, 3:57.
  • ARI – Holding penalty on Justin Hartwig in end zone for safety, 2:58. Steelers 20–16.
  • ARI – Larry Fitzgerald 64 yard pass from Kurt Warner (Neil Rackers kick), 2:37. Cardinals 23–20. Drive: 2 plays, 67 yards, 21 seconds.
  • PIT – Santonio Holmes 6 yard pass from Ben Roethlisberger (Jeff Reed kick), 0:35. Steelers 27–23. Drive: 8 plays, 78 yards, 2:02.

thoughts while sipping coffee at starbucks

(sort of a continuation from my ramblings earlier in the week while waiting for an oil change)

PT. 2: sitting in a starbucks @ Washington square, sipping on a mocha and thinking about life and cool breezes and oversized comfy chairs. friday morning, 1.23.09

We are all put here n this green earth of ours for a reason. Finding that reason is a major part of our life’s quest. Our questions are tied to that reason. Our reason is tied to the questions. We don’t always know what to ask or where to search. we don’t always realize what the end result will be. But we know that there is a purpose.. a direction… a plan designed just for us. In the days of GPS navigation systems, you’d think it’d be a whole heck of a lot easier to find our way. Yet we still wander aimlessly.

Your hand in mine. As I type ‘your hand in mine’, an instrumental track by the band Explosions in the Sky is playing.

I find it to apply to my thoughts at the moment. We are none of us alone. You’ll never walk alone. We were never meant to be alone. But we’ve all felt alone. Much of my adolescence I felt alone, I think. At least I seem to recall feeling that way… maybe my memories are skewed… but even today there are many times when I think that no one understands me or the thoughts or ideas in my head.

Last on Greys Anatomy (my wife makes me watch it) Meredith said to Derek something like ‘ I know you don’t understand me… I don’t understnd me!’

I felt that way. Many people do, too, I believe. But WE ARE NOT ALONE… nor were we meant to be or feel alone. But feelings can deceive us so much of the time.

Thinking about Adam and Eve and the action steps they took after they disobeyed God. What did they do? they hid. They pulled themselves away and brought on the feeling and reality of aloneness (is that a word?). They retreated. They pulled back. They hid. And God took away, because of their disobedient hearts, the very thing that they desired most. The comfortable resting place for their mind, body and spirit.

I wonder if there is a connection to ‘feeling alone’ and ‘not knowing the path God has laid out for us?’

I wonder if aloneness, or the feelings of alone-ness are connected to the quest?

Certainly, part of the quest is ‘doing it alone’… or so it seems or feels. But maybe that is not the intended way. I don’t know. In movies and in books you always have this character who ‘has to make it on my own.’… who has to prove to the world and to themselves that they can do it.

But how tragic that can end up. I am thinking of Christopher McCandless, the true story of a man, featured in the book and movie Into the Wild, who ran off on his own on a quest to find himself. He wound up in Alaska… alone… lost… abandoned… trapped… and eventually he died there.

One of his final written words was this: “happiness only real when shared with others.”

How true. How true.

Thoughts of the prodigal son… or the lost sheep come to mind. The lost sheep was not meant to be abandoned. The shepherd goes after him… leaving 99. That lost one was just as important.

The prodigal son… he chose to leave… chose to go it alone. And it took some trials and tragedy before he came to his senses and returned home, like a bad dog with his head between his knees… but the Father was there with open arms.

The Quest brought him full circle. The Father was there with loving arms… was that or is that the fulfillment of the quest? Of our quest in life?

To return home?

Ironically, the song that no plays is ‘The Only Moment We Were Alone’ by Explosions in the Sky. Beautiful.

WE and ALONE in the same sentence, those words are kind of opposites.

We and Alone. Maybe it could be a metaphor… and I am taking creative license here… but maybe it is symbolic of the homecoming… of which the FATHER greets us with the kind of embrace that fills the heart with love and grace and peace and comfort and protection and purpose and willingness and desire.

Together WE – the Father in Heaven and ME… and I… whatever. Together we are alone. That is the plan? Is it not? Is that the culmination of salvation and love that God promises? Is that the rejoiced moment we await?

thoughts while waiting for an oil change.

[random, free expression, written wednesday, jan. 21, 2009 while waiting for the oil to be changed in our van. i can't say what was written is coherent or worth reading or complete for that matter... but they are thoughts... my thoughts. read if you like... but i've come to know that blogging is often done even though many might not even ever read it. so maybe this random post was for me. maybe it was therapeutic. maybe it was just talking things out, without using my voice. alas...]

Sitting here waiting for the oil to get changed in my car and I’m thinking a lot about change. Yesterday we witnessed the beginning of the appearance and/or the hope of change to come in our country. Barack Obama was sworn into office as the 44th President of the United States. He represents so much to so many, but never has there been or will there be more pressure put upon one man to lead our nation. We are not in the best of times. Frankly, being President might not be the dream job when you look at the task at hand.

Regardless, this whole change thing that has filled my mind has more to do with the other things of life. As a matter of fact, change has been on my mind for a while now. It’s been on the forefront for at least the past 21 days. With the dawning of a new year just 3 weeks ago we’ve all been thinking about change and about resolutions and about dreams and goals and things we’d like to do differently.

And yet here we are… here we stand… here I stand, 3 weeks in, already thinking about how I’ve yet to do anything. My mind has been full but my action has been empty.

Everyone seems to embraces the idea of change, but not the actual activity itself. Well, there are obviously some who reject it whole heartily… sometimes it appears that those who have been around longer are least likely to embrace change. That attitude easily seeps into the young, apparently through the water they drink? Who knows why, but I’ve met my fill of young folk who openly resist anything different, too.

We are a people made up of mostly talkers with little walkers.

And where am I in the mix? Not where I want to be. I’m on the cusp of my 35th birthday and I can’t help but wonder when the mid-life crisis will come. When I say ‘crisis’ I am meaning that place where I begin to wonder and question and figure out what it is I was placed on this earth to do.

Heck, I’ve been having those thoughts for years.

I don’t view this coming period as a crisis per-sey, but more of a reality that is or will be upon me or any man who gets this far in life and can’t help but wonder ‘ how the heck did my parents do this?’ how did they do the whole ‘raising a family, holding down a job and being the productive people that they were?’

The scary thing is the realization that things are different and really cant be compared. Young people (or might I clarify, people my age) don’t seem to join the Rotary or civic clubs. We don’t really interact in community or neighborhoods like our parents did. We don’t do things the same way – but yet we aren’t much different. We are still filled with the same hopes and fears of our fathers and mothers and those who paved the way before them.

I can’t help but wonder how God will take care of me and my family when the future arrives. I can’t lie… that is a point of worry at times… but not that I spend too much time worrying about that. Who has time to worry about the future, anyway?
But that fact is I’ve chosen a profession that doesn’t pay, I’d say,. I’m not in it for the money. I’d be a fool if I were. But youth ministry isn’t the kind of career that has the benefits of others. No union. No real pension. No long term plan. Heck, most youth workers are long removed from that form of ministry by the time they hit mid-life.

I won’t really have much when that time comes to ‘hang it up’. I got a statement from my pension plan the other day. Right now, I’ve got enough to survive for roughly 1 month after I would retire. So yeah, youth ministry doesn’t hold long term stability, in the financial sense.

But that is not why I chose this profession. Money isn’t everything. Not that I fully believe that all of the time. But I know in my heart of hearts that there is more to life than cash money.

So I guess as I write this and think about change, I guess I am forcing myself to think about when certain changes do come in my life and in the life o my family, it will truly place us in the hands of God… in the midst of his loving care. I can only hope that he will, over time, reveal more and more his grace and love to me so that I may be comforted about future endeavors. Maybe I am being shown what it will look like to truly be a child of God – even as my years go by.

Got to maintain that hope though. You take away a man’s hope and you take away his life. I learned that lesson from the movie The Shawshank Redemption.

But alas, this post was and is about change. I could talk for hours. Change in the church. Change in the way we do youth ministry. Change in the way we attempt to reach the non-churched, young and old. Those questions are heavy on my heart. But at the heart of any ‘real’ question is a quest.

My quest is appearing to be long and hard and full of more questions.

when i was 12

this past summer while on vacation, the television remained off and in my moments of quiet, i read a book. and then another book. and then i began another... that third book was the Stephen King novella Different Seasons. the third of four short stories (titled 'The Body') in that novella was the longest of the stories.

vacation came and went before i finished it and i didn't pick it back up until the last month of the year. i finished 'The Body' before Christmas and couldn't wait to watch the film variation of the story, titled Stand By Me, to see how it compared.

Now in my younger years I had seen Stand By Me repeatedly... although it was the tv version in which all of the swear words and whatnot were replaced or removed. So i knew the story. Frankly, that is what made 'The Body' all the more enjoyable. As i read it, i was hearing the narration of Richard Dreyfuss and i was picturing the boys from the movie in my mind's eye. (The same was true when i read 'Rita Heyworth and the Shawshank Redemption'... i was hearing the narration of Morgan Freeman and picturing Tim Robbins... and when i recently finished the Autobiography of Johnny Cash, i was sad to put it down, because i knew the voice of Johnny Cash would disappear with it).

Without saying too much, Stand By Me or The Body is a really a story about 4 11 or 12 year old boys as they venture out to find the missing dead body of a peer who had tragically been hit by a train. it's less about the body and more the quest... even more about the life and times and important things of a 12 year old's childhood... many conversations about which super hero is best, ragging on one's mom and a plethora of one-up-man ship.

it's raw and real... the book more than the movie... but it's about the hopes and fears and weights placed upon the shoulders of young men who aren't really men at all. not yet anyway.

i connect with that story, as do many grown men like me. why? we connect with it because we were all once 12 years old. and we are sad that we can not go back... never go back to that age of innocence and discovery.

there was a quote from the story... i can hear Dreyfuss narrating it now: "I never had friends later on in life like i did when i was 12. God, does anyone?"

i remember my friends back then. i go back often... in my mind, that is. i am taken back to that small town in mid-Ohio, were i grew up. i think of the many adventures i once shared with them: Billy and Donnie, David and Mikey, Patrick and Bobby... and the assortment of other characters with whom my path once crossed. We'd ride bikes, walk the tracks, play war, camp out, build forts and club houses (we must have had 3 or 4 different ones over the years), head up to the Rainbow 7 for some ice cream and a game of Donkey Kong, climb trees and talk about girls or music or what was happening on the latest episode of The A-Team... we had full lives.

One of us is now gone. He drowned in the Whetstone Creek a few years after I moved away. I've lost contact with pretty much all of those guys now.

I've been back to that small town a hand full of times over the last 20+ years. In fact, i took my new bride there soon after we were married... wanted to show here where i grew up and tell her all about the things we did. We pulled into town and everything looked different.

you can never go back. i learned that one then and there. but my mind has not forgotten. so much happened and it seemed so important then.

maybe it still is.

to be 12 again... who wouldn't want to go back?

quotes from last nite's episode of Friday Night Lights

"you're going to win... or you're going to lose. either way, the sun's going to come up in the morning."
(by the coaches wife, the night before the state championship game)

***

"years ago, i was afraid of wanting anything.
i figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure.
but now i find i can't stop wanting.
i want to fly somewhere in first class.
i want to travel to europe on a business trip.
i want to get invited to the white house.
i want to learn about the world.
i want to surprise myself.
i want to be important.
i want to be the best person i can be.
i want to define myself, instead of having others define me.
i want to win and have people be happy for me.
i want to lose and get over it.
i want to not be afraid of the unknown.
i want to grow up and be generous and big-hearted the way that people have been with me.
i want an interesting and exciting life.
it's not that i think that i'm going to get all of these things.
i just want the possibility of getting them.
(the future) represents possibility.
the possibility that things are going to change.
i can't wait."*

(spoken by Trya - as part of her entrance to college essay... i've adapted it slightly ... i'm going to give this to my seniors to read at the end of the school year - as i think they will relate to it quite well)

the randomness of whatnot and so on and so forth

the blog template update didn't go exactly as planned - but i'm sticking with it for now. i wanted the banner to be at the top of the page and to stretch across the page, but blogger wasn't cooperating... and i grew tired of trying to fix it.

i am compelled to blog more this year... well maybe not blog more - but blog about more things that matter to life. i want to share in conversations... about faith... about life... about what it means to be a follower of Jesus in this day and age.

i am sitting here watching Adaptation. frankly it is not ending like i thought... or hoped even... i guess. i had heard so much about it and now... it's sort of been tainted by what i would call it's own foolishness. to be fair - it hasn't ended yet. maybe some crazy twist will change my perception.

i've got 9 more bucks in my iTunes account... it's almost hard to give it up... with those last purchases, i want them to be right.

everyone is Twitting. not sure if that is another path i'll go down. not sure if i'm that important. it's hard to keep track of so many social networks on the net. here is an article about aligning lifestreams.

i watched 160+ moveis in 2008. here's to more blessed movie watching experiences in 2009.

peace and love and i'm out.

post script: Adaptation is now over. meh.

Update in Progress

i'm in the middle of updating the look of the blog... be patient... i'll hope to finish tuesday.

best of 2008

my top 12 albums of 2008
12. Sigur Rós Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust
11. Gnarls Barkley - The Odd Couple
10. Jon Foreman - Limbs and Branches (from the Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer EP's)
9. Alias - Resurgam
8. M83 - Saturdays = Youth
7. South - You Are Here
6. Unkle - End Titles...Stories for Film
5. Keane - Perfect Symmetry
4. Portishead - Third
3. The Stills - Oceans Will Rise
2. Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid
1. Coldplay - Viva La Vida

EP's worth mentioning: Coldplay - Prospekt's March, Jars of Clay - Closer, Wheat - That's Exactly What I Wanted

Edit: The Fireman might be a late addition to this best of list... listening to it now and liking it a lot...

LAST FM: most played 2008
Coldplay - 337
Explosions in the Sky - 300
Radiohead - 275

Top Song: Viva La Vida - Coldplay

Top TV Shows: Friday Night Lights, Generation Kill, The Office

Top Movie: Wall-E

My Top Albums: 2004 2005 2006 2007

of text and notes and video tidings

random thoughts:
as christmas time appraoches i thought i'd share some random thoughts... sort of like a gift to the blogging world (as if the blogging world has been waiting with baited breath...)

_below, i hope you'll enjoy the letters that santa wrote to my children as much as they did. it was quite a special treat for them!


(letters from Santa to my 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter)


_check out Troy post over at Defy the Grey... have we seen it all or is there more beyond z? go there... post a comment... discuss it...

_i've been keeping track of some random information... mostly stats regarding my movie watching habits or 2008. for the past 3 or 4 years, i've kept a movie log of all films watched... with source (HBO, Netflix, DVD, Cable TV, Theatre), description and a rating (scale of 0 to 5). i started doing this for a few reasons... i wanted to see if having HBO was worth it and then, in 2008, when i recieved a Netfix gift subscription, i wanted to see how much we used it, again, to see if it was worth it.

you can go to DAYTUM to track our viewing habits and whatnot. so far this year, we've watched 148 movies. (linked in sidebar as well)

DAYTUM is in beta testing stage... but you can request to be a part. you can list anything you want on DAYTUM... it's just a place to list or keep track of things. i'm a stat freak, so i kind of like it a lot.

_(RED)wire seems like a cool new thing. what is (red)wire? it's a weekly, digital, online music magazine. you can subscribe to it for $5 a month - with 1/2 of money going directly to provide medicine to AIDS victims in Africa. Right now, you can sign up and get 2 months free (without having to give a credit card). i downloaded it today and it seems pretty cool. it has music & video & exclusives from Coldplay, U2, Jay-Z, etc. it's all DRM-free, too and soon you will be able to download videos in audio form to play in iTunes.

U2 is on board - and from what i read on their website - they've performed this really great Christmas track for (red)wire... watch it below:



(i believe in father christmas as performed by U2)
watch it HERE or see that and other U2 videos HERE, too.

_in other U2 news U2.com has an update on the new album... after reading i am geeked. go HERE to read... and check out the rest of the interview at MOJO.

according to Edge: 'It doesn’t sound like anything we’ve done before and it doesn’t really sound like anything that’s happening at the moment...'

the new album has a working title of No Line on the Horizon. Brian Eno and Daniel Lanois have been more involved in this record, even helping with some of the writing.

if the new album sounds anything like the christmas song posted above - then we are all in for a new, fresh treat.

_lastly, with Christmas time here... go over to rejesus and check out some of their Christmas related posts, games and whatnot.

peace.


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Now playing: The Violet Burning - The Ends Begin
via FoxyTunes

behind the numbers

i received my first Sports Illustrated subscription in 1983, when i was 9 years old (featuring Dan Marino, Nov. 14, 1983). it's been 25 years and i hadn't missed an issue... until a few weeks back when i let it run out (but i'll probably renew it soon).

i had kept each issue... most in the basement... in boxes and crates and bins and whatever i could find to store them in.

this afternoon, i went down in the basement to check on something, saw all of those boxes and decided it was time to get rid of them. after probably 12 trips up the stairs from the basement, out the back door and into the back of the van... of which included 4 separate trips to the local recycling station, i hauled most of 1,300 or so issues to be recycled.

i figure that the average weight of each issue is approx. 6 oz... 6 ounces x 1,300 issues = roughly 487.5 lbs. needless to say, my back is a little sore... and since i have had some back trouble recently, my arms are really sore as i was trying not to hurt my back.

but the basement has never been cleaner. which is nice.

chip off the old block

i always enjoyed watching Barry Sanders. He made watching a Lions game fun. i truly think he is the best running back that ever played... simply because you couldn't tackle him... he rarely took a direct hit.

i was sad when he retired suddenly in '99. he would have certainly broke Walter Payton's rushing record.

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so now, his on is a freshman in high school in Oklahoma... watch this youtube clip and be amazed... Barry Sanders Jr. is a chip off the old block.

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tragedy

i don't like tragedy. not that anyone likes tragedy... i just hate the randomness of it all. people randomly shot and killed in Mumbai... a military jet crashes directly onto 1 house... 1 house! if you watched the video, you saw a car right out front... 15... 20 feet from the house...

the house was destroyed... the car was not even touched. i mean couldn't the jet have crashed in the empty street? instead 4 people died inside the house.

a tragic accident.

it is hard to take.

makes me think of ecclessiastes... everything is meaningless...





the rain falls on the just and the unjust...

Cost

what is the costliest thing you own? what is the most expensive thing you've ever bought?

the following is an example of what ultimate cost looks like.

Luke 9:57-62 (New International Version)

The Cost of Following Jesus

57As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go."

58Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

59He said to another man, "Follow me."
But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."

60Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."

61 Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family."

62Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

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Now playing: Keane - The Lovers Are Losing
via FoxyTunes