5k and indian summer

On Saturday, I ran in my first 5k race (3.1 miles). Back in early September my wife wanted to take up running again - so we saved up and bought her the Nike Air + running shoes that can be synced with your iPod. A sensor is placed in the shoe and the iPod tracks your distance, times & splits. Being the stat freak that I am I was immediately jealous. Knowing that I needed to become more physically fit, I decided I just might take up running as well. We soon joined the YMCA and challenged each other to see who could run the most miles in a month (I won!) I found out that a 5k was coming up and decided to register.

The race was part of Mount Union College's homecoming weekend. The morning of the race looked grim. It was dark, raining, windy and cold. At race time it was 38 degrees.

I was a noticable rookie at this race... I didn't have the proper running attire - I did go out and buy one of those skin tight shirts that looked like it was a toddlers shirt... I brought it home, tried it on... and thought not... But alas, I went through with the race. Despite only really 'training' indoors on a treadmill - I was able to get into the 'zone' and the elements didn't really bother me. I actually got a little hot. An older gentleman ran beside me for much of the race... By race end I had passed 7 or 8 people and the old man (I think his name was Roger - he received a loud ovation from supporters once we entered the stadium for the final 200 meters) and I were neck and neck. Roger passed me and put on the burners. I remember thinking "oh man - I can't get beat by a senior citizen". I gave it my all and passed him at the line and came in 75th place (out of 200 or so). My time was 28:14, close to my fastest 5k time. My goal was to finish in under 30 minutes, so I kind of surprised myself. I did feel a little guilty (almost) for passing that old guy - especially because I'm pretty sure he was just jogging. Either way, it wa sa little odd to rejoice in beating someone twice my age... But hey - I was really just glad to complete a goal. I just might run in another race on Thanksgiving morning.

Later that day - we witnessed a rarety... a thunder-snow storm. Yup... lightning, Thunder, Wind... SNOW! What a day.

And now it is two days later and it is currently 71 degrees. We took the kids to the park for some shenanigans and energy burning. Here is a picture that my wife took. It was a tough picture to get - seeing that we had to ask the two guys mowing their lawn behind me to stop and pose as well.

Music/Expression/Project

I came up with this idea recently and so i challenged a few friends to try it with me. The album of choice (one of my favorites of the year thus far) was Mew - And the Glass Handed Kites. Mew is a dannish band that i am simply falling in love with.
[review] [website] [amazon]

Below is word for word what i wrote... what came to mind as I listened. what came to be 57 minutes and 14 tracks later sort of amazed me... the whole process did. Not that i have written something spectacular - but to see how the creative juices flowed... to see how things came full circle. I hope it makes sense. I hope you take the time to read - and eventually listen to a great album. If you are willing to try the same technique - with an album of your choosing - I'd love to read what came of it.

Thanks - tim

----

Mew – And the Glass Handed Kites



















NOTES TAKEN WHILE LISTENING TO MEW.
10.16.06 / 3:46pm

TRACK ONE: Circuitry of the Wolf

A man is trapped… on the run… from what? Himself? His past? Silent followers? He hides in an abandoned building. Upon entering the abandoned place he is opened up to a whole different reality… a different world.
TRACK TWO: Chinaberry Tree
Man thinks about love… his first love… being vulnerable to love…towards his lover.
“tears out for the world to see”
He ponders love maybe lost? Sitting in the corner, graffiti, concrete and wood beams surround him.
[(2:10-3:33) instrumental part of song] 360 degree pan around this man… looking towards the sky… towards the ceiling. What kind of love completes a man? Fills his heart?

TRACK THREE: Why Are you Looking So Grave?
We Are all hiding something. These hidden things in secret places, if not ever revealed traps man… leads to a death of us from inside out. Freedom is desired. Life lived is life freed. Our mouths + eyes hide joy. Joy that we struggle to find.

Only love can bring about that freedom. At the heart of the matter love is desired… Some of us feel like love is not available to us.

TRACK FOUR: Fox Club

TRACK FIVE: Apocalypso
What are we striving to figure out?
Jesus’ parables ask lots of questions… he generally answered questions with more questions.

-

Are our pasts so black, so dirty + cold that we are unable to feel love? Why do w feel the way that we do? Why some + not others?

This blackness does not have to lead to death.
“We will not die. Our days are multiplied.”

“Care-lines – what are your stories all about?”

-

The stories of Jesus are still being talked about. Why? What compels man? We are drawn to Him. His stories, even though they ask more questions – they brought about a feeling of overcoming!
Truth was found in his stories.

TRACK SIX: SPECIAL
In the eyes of God – am I special?

Man walks streets alone. Behind him… following him is that one person – that special one. We can’t take back words… sticks and stones… blah blah blah. Hogwash. Words hurt.
The words of hurt spoken forth by the man have hurt the woman who is following him.
Why the hurtful words? To prove a point? To prove he’s right?

“I know what you said to me… and I don’t care.”

Forgiveness is on the horizon?

TRACK SEVEN: THE ZOOKEEPERS BOY
“Are you my lady?”

A young boy swims on a swing. Playing make believe in the backyard.

The joy of a child at play. [knowledge is creativity to an 8 year old boy]

Darkness + rain are on the horizon. Rain brings an end to play…
Like an ostrich – boy has his head in the sand. He doesn’t care about the rain. The joy and happiness… pure delight…

Thank you God for play. May you delight in our play. May it bring you glory.


TRACK EIGHT: A DARK DESIGN
Relax. Unwind. Rest.

Are some in love with their sickness? Their self-destruction?

Alone on the inside. She cuts. She hides amidst the sickness that invades her being. The sickness has become norm… comfortable… She is used to the pain. She cannot live without it. People love her maladies.

TRACK NINE: SAVIOURS OF JAZZ BALLET
Hollow hearts. Empty. We worship her sin / sickness…
Yet our hearts are empty. Something is missing.

TRACK TEN: AN ENVOY TO THE OPEN FIELDS
Malady. Seen by one and all. She is us. She is him. The man in the corner… much like the woman in the spotlight. Both empty inside. One hidden (man) / one exposed (She)

They feel as though they have nothing in common.

Empty. Missing. We are all on this journey, apart from God – we are nothing. Nothing satisfies. Nothing is truth. No hope. Desperation. We are dying. BRING US BACK TO LIFE.

Awake.

TRACK ELEVEN: SMALL AMBULANCE
Our Savior? Is He near?


TRACK TWELVE: THE SEETHING RAIN WEEPS FOR YOU
What if God himself weeps real tears of rain? Tears from heaven… for us. Tears shed for us?
His heart is breaking for us.

If given a choice to re-live life – how many would run into God sooner? His arms spread out across the horizon… open… spread out across the Cross.
Salvation is near.

As time goes by, Darkness gives way to light. Days go by.
Light is ahead.

TRACK THIRTEEN: WHITE LIPS KISSED
Has death come to soon? Or is it a period of uninterrupted sleep? A nightmare. Am I on the list? Have I been chosen? Have I missed out because I did not choose?

She feels no hope…
He (the man) hides… no expectation… failure doesn’t hurt as much then.
She is afraid to fall so she does not climb.

The soul is wounded. Malady. Unrepairable.
The important things (or that which one thinks is important) leaves us all cold. Warmth of the soul is found only through the sacrifice of the One.

The man is hidden… running away… he lets go of love for good (or so it would seem)

Man + she (hand in hand no more).
He has pulled away.
The stain of his heart will not go away. He can not live with the shame.

Cold air of winter matches his cold heart.


TRACK FOURTEEN: LOUISE LOUISA
Is hope on the horizon? Truth is at arms length. Realization.
Sometimes hitting rock bottom is needed before you can move along.

One’s heart can’t be filled by true love – true love from above – until out heart is broken and spilled out; exposed. The bad, the ugly, the shame… spilled out on the floor... for all to see.

She is realizing.
Hope is near.

“Dig yourself out of the rubble.” The man pulls himself out of the miry pit. (Ps. 40) His dirty clothes are shed like a snakes skin. Darkness gives way to light. No sorrow is desired.

The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. Forward.
Hands reunited. Walking together as New creations. New beings.

They have found / are finding a new way to be human. No more Alone.

Realization that the One is with them. Not knowing where they are going. None the less, moving forward.

Together.
Hopeful.
Seeking.

[Autumn] + Everything After

Ohio. a great state. but at times like this, the only thing that keeps me here is Ohio State football. I remember in 5th grade our student teacher was finishing up at Ohio State... in one of our spelling tests the bonus word was 'Buckeye'. I just happened to be wearing an Ohio State Buckeyes shirt that day. The teacher caught me trying to look down at my shirt so that I would spell Buckeye correctly. She wouldn't let me look down. To this day - i will never spell Buckeye wrong. I learned the hard way. Had i cheated, i may still not know how to correctly spell it.

but alas, what is the time like this that i referred to in line one of this post? it's our weather. We have gone from Summer right to winter. Autumn has been skipped over... forgotten like a red-headed step child at a rest stop along I-77. frankly, it blows (literally) outside. It's blustery, miserable, uncomfortable. No time for humans to adjust to climate change.

It snowed yesturday. what gives?

I hope it warms up before Saturday - as I am running in a 5k race. I speak this like it's a big deal. It's only 3.1 miles, but it's a big deal for me... It is a goal I've set and i want to accomplish it. in the past 5 weeks i've ran 50 miles. it feels good to be active. I'm not so sure how good it'll be to be active...outside... when it's 35 degrees... with a rain/snow mix smacking me in the face.

i have a lot more to write about... i will get to that later - when time allows... as for now - enjoy
Decoder Ring.

man, i'm glad i stumbled upon this band...

thanks to eMusic.

review of Fractions.

eclipse

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
Beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All thats to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

oops.

in the grand scheme of things are our mistakes and mishaps really worth all of the stress we place on ourselves after an 'oops' moment?

putting your elbow through a 139 million dollar Picasso and not getting stressed? priceless.

"It's just a picture."

disgrace, defeat...

Main Entry: disgrace
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French, from Old Italian disgrazia, from dis- (from Latin) + grazia grace, from Latin gratia -- more at GRACE
1 a : the condition of one fallen from grace or honor b : loss of grace, favor, or honor
2 : a source of shame disgrace> disgrace to the profession>

It made me sick to see what the University of Miami football team did yet again. Yeah, i know, Florida International had a hand in the melay that took place in the third quarter of their football game last Saturday night, but fighting is nothing new for the Hurricanes of Miami. The 'U' is nothing short of a stain on college sports. This is their third such altercation in a year. Who is running the program down there in South Florida? [watch fight here]. Yeah, so the two schools are cross-town rivals... sort of. Yeah - there was some smack talk, but when players come out using their helmets as weapons (one FIU player actually used his crutch to hit people) something drastic needs to be done.

At first it was just one game suspensions for players involved... now most of those suspentions have become indefinite. if i were President of U of M - i'd pull the football program off the field for the rest of the season. No excuse for such behavior. Sportsmanship is a lost art, apparently.














Main Entry: ²defeat
Function: noun
1 : frustration by nullification or by prevention of success defeat in the game>

i felt really bad for the Arizona Cardinals last night. I don't know why... it's not as though they are my favorite team or anything. But they have suffered such heartache for ages. The last two weeks has seen the Cards blow 14+ point leads only to lose the game in the 4th quarter. Last nights loss to the undefeated Bears was particularly painful as the Bears could only muster 3 points on offense, but 2 TD's on defense and 1 on special teams. Chicago scored two TD's in the last 5 minutes but Arizona had one last chance. Matt Leinart (who i think will turn out to be a star in the NFL) led the Cards down the field - and put his team in position to win the game on a 40 yard field goal... alas, the kick was missed... Bears win. The Cardinals have so much potential... but they need an Offensive line desparately.

Now we get to hear about how great the Bears are for two more weeks... they have a bye week coming up.

the Wound

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminder
Of every glove that laid him down
and cut him til he cried out
in his anger and his shame,
"I am leaving,
I am leaving,"
But the fighter still remains.
-Simon & Garfunkel
"The Boxer"


a man is known by his trade. but on the inside, that man knows himself by something else. the hidden wounds define him, sometimes overcome him. but in the end we are what we are. i think all men are fighters... boxers... with scars and hurts masked by strength and testosterone. but out beauty if found in our strength... our strength comes from our DNA, put there for a reason by God himself.

the Lord heals the brokenhearted... heals our wounds...

while arming me with strength as he makes my way perfect.

real strength comes through honesty and integrity... not through muscle or bravado.

observations from 27th & Cleveland

observations while waiting to get brake pads replaced on our Suzuki XL-7

What is it that makes a man feel inept if he doesn't know how to fix his car? i don't know enough about motor vehicles... well, i guess i know enough seeing that i know how to drive one. frankly, isn't that all i really need to know? on the news CNN is talking about Kim Jong Il. I bet he doesn't know how to fix his car. Why is it that every auto repair shop or brake shop or tire place has an old tv sitting on a bunch of boxes playing some news channel? what, is it assumed that people getting their brakes fixed don't like Dr. Phil?

I'll bet Dr. Phil has somebody else take his car to the brake shop. he probably stays back at the studio and sends hate mail to Oprah. not because he hates Oprah but because he loves hate mail.

There is a cobbler shop across the street. i know what your thinking... why is there a shop devoted to fruit desserts with thick crusts. not that kind of cobbler. not a clumsy worker shop either... who gets their shoes repaired these days? how much money does a cobbler make in a year? how does a cobbler make enough to pay his rent? many questions... i know.... not meant to be answered i'm afraid.

if i owned a carpet store i'd call it Carpet Diem.

as i look north down Cleveland avenue i see something you don't see everyday... A sweeper repair shop. who gets their sweeper repaired these days? what are the odds that a sweeper store is down the street from a shoe repair shop? does the sweeper repair shop sell brooms? what if the cobbler was a sloppy worker who repaired shoes and sold fruit desserts with a thick crust? why am i back to talking about the cobbler?

about a month ago i bought my first pair of non-Adidas athletic shoes in 15 years. my wife and i both have the Nike Air + shoes that can sync up with your iPod. in the past month i have ran almost 40 miles. i never ran much before this. my love for stats outweighs my love for Adidas - so i can justify such a purchase. The Nike + system tracks all of your running stats on line. Jen and i are training to run in a 5K on Sat. Oct. 28th. it's a little ironic that while sitting in the Midas brake shop that i thought about my shoes, seeing that the front axel brake shoes were being replaced. My car tracks how far it runs, too... just like the Nike Air +. who knew man and machine would come so close to being the same. i think i need to go watch the Matrix Revolutions.

$205 lighter and 2 and a half hours later... i'm out.













enjoying Boards of Canada at this moment.

new look

i hope you like it.

i wasted a whole evening working on it.

Friday Night Lights

tonite i watched the movie Friday Night Lights again... it was on Encore... i had to watch it...

Each time i watch it i always have this hidden desire deep within that Panther QB Mike Winchell will make it into the end zone for the winning score on the last play of the game...













one yard short... every time...

there is nothing that compares to High School football... Texas... Ohio... Pennsyvania... high school football is king in those parts...

Friday Night Lights
one of my favorite books...
one of my favorite movies...
now one of my favorite tv shows

i want to live...

in this house.

what the world thinks...

just because a minute few so-called 'Christians' act a fool doesn't mean we all are fools...

not dark yet (but it's getting there)

Shadows are falling and I've been here all day
It's too hot to sleep time is running away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

people are really hurting.
what makes a man do the things he does?
killing the innocent. taking lives... by what right?
why death?

tormented by pain or memories or guilt?
cuts are deep...

why do we not notice? how can things be so hidden from us?
after all we are all walking wounded... we all desire healing...

are we just looking the other way... staring at the ground to avoid eye contact?
'hi, how are you's' that have no depth... focused on what to say next, rather than listening... truly listening...

mankind is sick. maybe the reality is that we can't fix everybody.

mending can really only come from above.

how can my witness help others experience Christ? maybe honesty... more, brutal honesty is needed. maybe we shouldn't be so content... maybe we 'christians' should be less concerned with who'll win the next election and more concerned about boldly preaching Christ.

people are dying... some are still technically living but you know what i mean... their hands are at their sides and then there is Jesus - stretching out his hands of love... from the cross... from above... are we just not honest enough to tell them where to look to find the embrace of heaven?

i don't know... my heart is full of sorrow... people are dying and taking others with them because of hurt. when will it end?

looking for the baby in the cake

if you want to feel inspired sometimes you have to search, dig, root + till the earth. if you don't have a tractor, rake or shovel - this can be a difficult task.

in mid august i was on a plain... a high plain of imagination, inspiration, innovation. good things come in threes but after the music fades how long must one wait until either the reaper or the keeper returns?

in the time since the music of creativity that spins out of control in my brain faded. i was at peace. i was relaxed. that is the real reason why my blogging ceased. it was as if the reaper came and took away thought process in one fail swoop. but i did not mind. i needed a time of nothing. the relaxation experienced for one week in September was the most refreshing time for me ever. i came back to my reality relaxed, refreshed and rejuvenated. but in the time since - it has been a struggle to get the juices of creativity flowing... from mind to pen or keyboard or mouse.

and so with that God allowed me to be at my best... through it all, God pulled me up and placed me back on the plain. i was forced to rely on Him. in the past month - i have kicked off another year as Director of Youth Ministries... year 8 is underway and it is so fresh and so clean... it would put OutKast to shame. our ministry is more hands on this year... sub themes of contemplation, creativity and relationship building are on the forefront... embraced (thus far) by one and all. to God be the glory. we've already had intense study, discussion and challenge... and God is teaching me a new way... a month in to this, i am now realizing that God is teaching me a new way... a new way to be human, perhaps. i even preached last week and the words came... God provided... i was responsible enough to also notice the few, minute lapses... moments where the congregation would not notice - but where i noticed... places where i had under-prepared... under-studied... and in that moment - while preaching, God said "get in the word!" none the less, this new way of seeing things can only be attributed to God... and much of it can be traced back to that peak time of creative genius back in August.

so here i am today... trying to get back to my creative self. wanting to be inspired... wanting to be shown more and more 'new' things. and so i dig. it's time to get my hands dirty again.

it's time in my life to begin new habits. allow me to be blunt... a need to form a habit of 'digesting the Word'.

i need to live it, breathe it, eat it. i am clamoring for the scriptures to become alive again in me. this is the one instance in which a lack of digestion of the word will leave one with nothing but indigestion in the soul. i've had an upset stomach for a while now (figuratively) and only the Holy, living word of God will satisfy. [thank you to many - including my friend Eli for helping me to realize this].

they say it takes 21 days to make something a habit. less than 3 weeks ago, my wife and i joined the YMCA... since then - we have already made it a habit of running... at least 4 times a week. in the past 19 days i've ran 24 miles... (my wife has run 27 miles) it didn't take long for me to make running a habit. i am ready for the Word to become habit. i am ready for creativity to overcome my state of being.

there is a Mardi Gras tradition of baking a King Cake (a cake with a toy baby inside.) when cake is served, the person who gets the baby in their piece of cake is crowned king or queen and is honored with the ability to host next year's party. my friends, this life... this path that we are on... this journey is all about being crowned King or Queen... only our reward is a heavenly party that can not be topped. we are all searching, digging longing to find that which elevates our hearts and minds. some are tempted to stop...others are enlightened to keep on keepin' on.

i have a dream... a dream for me, a dream for us. let the kingdom come. let the inspiration come. let the witnesses of all things heavenly unite to tell the story of Christ in new, creative, fresh, innovative, imaginative ways. may we put pen to paper, brush to the canvas, fingers to the keyboard... may the breathe of God inhabit His people. may the lost be found... may the fallen be lifted... are you ready for the journey?




enjoy Chiddingstone.
i'm back.

THE 10: reasons why i haven't blogged but 4 times in last 2 months

10. the blogging portion in my frontal loab is on hiatus.
9. i joined the Y and took up running.
8. i rented Season One of Grey's Anatomy and my wife and i were hooked - leading to a 10 day span of nothing but Grey's (season one + season 2 = 36 episodes) just in time for the season premiere of season 3.
7. i'm Lost.
6. my wife made an apple pie.
5. i decided to have a mid-life crisis for the sole purpose of justifying a purchase of a Hummer H3 (because i saw one in the mall). said mid-life crisis gave way to a weekend binge on nothing but Subway leading to my future disdain for Jarrod. He's a liar... no one can eat Subway for every meal. this has nothing to do with blogging. i am grasping at straws.
4. there is a new sheriff in town and his name is El Polio Loco.
3. the calendar on my desk still says August 28th?
2. i got nothin'
1. contemplation has temporarily escaped me... i am striving to retrieve it... stay tuned.

enjoy hair..