through the lens

my wife... aspiring photographer... a series of photos...













1. Full House, 2. Paine Falls, 3. Four, 4. Old, 5. shiny, 6. Rubber Duckie..., 7. Harpersfield Bridge, 8. Eternal Love, 9. Then there was light, 10. Best Friends

a story of incoherent hope {inspired by titles of songs playing in my Least Listened To playlist}

the train rolled down the tracks.
an old man - not nearly as old as he looked played a guitar with fierce passion.
the passing winds blew leaves around the boxcar.
clickity clack. clickity clack.
time faded to black.
day fell. night rose.
in the distance: rain. thunder. reality.
the joyous times and restless souls of youth cashed out on the curb.
brokenness. bottles. glass. hearts ripped.
"You Probably Couldn't See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight At Me"
she said with ease.
I was transported from place to place; generation to generation.
She slipped. I fell.
and with that a strong goodbye was felt like a slap across the face.
the truth of the matter was not elected but rejected.
and the wind cried tears of despair.
loneliness.
despair.
wonderment.
yet, the weight is a gift.
to be carried with rejoicing...
because suffering produces perseverance.
perseverance, character.
character, hope.
and hope does not disappoint us.
I hope for the sweet sounds of the passing train.
coming to carry me home.
"Lord, remember me, way beyond the blue."
never forgotten.
Once upon a summertime, if you recall,
the flowers were in bloom and life was living right before our eyes.
you could see it, feel it, smell it, love it.
and a sliver of the moon is gently resting in the northern sky tonite.
as the old man strums the strings,
fingers connected to his soul.
rhythm and poetry... without any words.
The trees whispered my name.
The fields of resting flowers agreed.
Peace was entering... would I embrace it...
or ask it to leave?
Clickity clack. Clickity clack.
I'm going up yonder.
Waiting.
Living.
Grabbing.
Welcoming.
with Hope to carry on.
She returned in the morning,
walked beside me until the pain dissipated.
Reminding me that He reached down for me,
lifted me up out of the muck and mire.
He cleared away the mud from my eyes - and restored a piece of me...
the peace in me.
An the whistled blew... again.

with regret

Dr. Edward Charles Beck

Dr. Edward Charles Beck, age 70, of Louisville, passed away Monday, April 16, 2007, in Pennsylvania. He was born in Crestline, OH, March 29, 1937, to the late Harry A. and DaLee A. (VanZile) Beck. He graduated from Cleveland Collinwood High School in 1956, Asbury College, Wilmore, KY, in 1960, Asbury Theological Seminary, in 1963, and Ashland Theological Seminary, 1982, with a Doctor of Ministry degree. He was a United Methodist pastor for 44 years, serving in Ohio. He served at Tippecanoe/Deersville, Harrison County, from 1963 to 1966, Winona, Columbiana County, 1966-1971, Cardington, Morrow County, 1971-1985, Louisville Christ United Methodist Church, 1985-2002, and in his retirement, he served part time at Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Carrol County from 2002 to 2007. He is survived by his wife, Charlotte Jane (Smith) Beck, whom he married in 1961; he is also survived by three daughters and sons-in-law, Abbey and Rev. Jerry Ernst of Hannibal, OH, Joy and Sam Garafalo of Canton, Penny and Kevin Ducharme of Gloucester, MA; a son and daughter-in-law, Timothy E. and Jen Beck of Louisville; a sister, Alice (Mae) Hellinger of Ontario, OH; a brother, Thomas A. Beck of Dover, DE; eight grandchildren, Gabriel, Harper and Josiah Ernst, Paola, Christian and Asa Ducharme, Micah and Addison Beck. Services will be 10 a.m. Saturday in Christ United Methodist Church in Louisville with Dr. Larry Hinkle officiating. Friends may call 6-8 p.m. Friday in the Stier-Israel Funeral Home in Louisville, and one hour before services at the church on Saturday. Additional services will be held Saturday afternoon at Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Carroll County. Interment will be in Herrington Bethel Cemetery in Carroll County. Memorial contributions may be made to the Christ United Methodist Church in Louisville or the Herrington Bethel United Methodist Church in Augusta, OH.

Trappd

what traps you?



photograph by Milov.

find yrslf

in just 7 days...

what will you do over the next seven days?

this is what He did.



*



end note:
8 pictures by young people, taking themes from the Easter story and applying it to their own lives and experiences. CLICK HERE.

embrace

I POSTED THIS ON OUR LENTEN BLOG THIS MORNING... THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO SHARE HERE AS WELL...


embrace.grace.
what does it look like?




grab hold of the morning.
seek the warmth of the sun.
close your eyes.
listen.

can you hear it?

behind the distraction of automobiles and exhaust
just past the dull roar of morning hustle
and beyond man-made disorder.

grace is speaking.

we often don't listen or hear it.
we reject it - thinking that its message can not possibly be for us.
it's chaos over clarity.
'i am not worthy.'

worry + fear + regret + poor self-image
trump grace.
and so i wallow.

"do not worry about tomorrow."
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them."
So if He feeds them so,
Why is my faith so low?

He speaks. Grace flows down.
it covers me.
like a warm blanket.
and I'm dripping wet no more.

grab hold of the morning.
seek the warmth of the son.
close your eyes.
listen.

can you hear it?

grace.

[untitled] making sense of thought.

it's all very interesting...


And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

The last lines from Snow Patrol's song Make This Go On Forever.


at this point i feel like i've been burnt by the sun - only to realize that it was my own faulty lamp that did the burning. it was man-made. it was of my own volition. i have been growing closer to the Father during this Lenten season... learning about love and journey and discipleship. temptation has strayed from me during this time...i've noticed those desires have waned.

but i feel burnt. and now i realize that maybe that burning sensation is a result of me sitting to close to the fire.

God's been speaking within me for quite some time now. i've been waiting patiently for him to come to me. now i realize i need to come to him. i feel so inspired - but my dreams feel squelched. i should point out that some of those 'dreams' have yet to be realized in full by me... but they are there. The Spirit is in them. i know.


But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. - Romans 8:25-27

it's like that moment in Lost in Translation where Scarlett Johansonn is sitting in her hotel room, staring out the window with Tombid [mp3] by Squarepusher playing. i'm staring out that window knowing full well that wonderment and discovery are on the horizon - yet i don't know where to look exactly. And thus i don't really know how to pray right now. or maybe i'm learning how to pray. or maybe the Spirit is taking care of it.

i like how the Message Remix translates it:

26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

on a recent Lenten blog post from Grace in England the author wrote this: To appreciate the sunrise you have to sit through the night. the question is: are we ready to sit through the night? we want it and we want it now. we want change - a better way - a hope for the future - a challenge - a dusty, dirty apprenticeship. but are we... am i willing to sit through the night?


Are you on the same journey? if not are you willing to join as we collectively discover the greatness inside of us -- as we learn together the plan that God has for us - and how they are intertwined like a shredded wheat biscuit? can we sit through the night and not get to close to the fire? the fire that is ours and not Gods? can we wait it out - be patient enough to fully enjoy + encompass the beautiful sunrise that breads new life + new beginnings?


i don't always know where to look. Sometimes i don't even have the words. But my spirit groans. it knows.


if you have 5 minutes - watch THIS video by Icelandic band Sigur Ros. it sums up the anticipation of something fabulous, adventurous, bold + free that i feel inside. the Spirit is right along side of me and His love for me will be worked into something good.

we are on the cusp of something spectacular. it just might change the face of the outward expression of our faith.

purpose.

faith.

hope.

truth.

i am on a journey. will you join me?

[playlist] to appreciate the sunrise...

[PLAYLIST] To Appreciate the Sunrise You've Got to Sit Through the Night

Sleepless Nights # 3 120 Days
Golden State Overnight Tarentel
Friend Of The Night Mogwai
Sunburn Muse
Permanent Daylight Radiohead
Silver Sun South
Midnight In A Perfect World DJ Shadow
Tommib Squarepusher
Till The Sun Turns Black Ray LaMontagne
Rain Patty Griffin
At Last Neko Case
Latter Days Over The Rhine
Dawn Begins To Creep Hammock
Sunlit Ascending The Appleseed Cast
Sunrise Cranes
The Sky Above, The Field Below Explosions In The Sky
Mountains Mix Explosions In The Sky
Oh the Glory of It All David Crowder Band
Put It Behind You {end} Keane
A New Beginning Jeremy Enigk
Been Here Before Jeremy Enigk
Glosoli Sigur Rós
Sun Stoned The Prayer Chain
Shifted Canon Paradigm Shift
Sunset Drama King The Appleseed Cast

Love

Bliss

Give Me 20

this challenge has been done on various message boards....

put your iTunes/iPod on shuffle... note the next 20 songs to play...

here's mine: completed @ 11:30am est.

Led Zeppelin - Black Dog
The Innocence Mission - Where Does the Time Go?
Explosions in the Sky - To West Texas
The Verve - Life’s An Ocean
Bruce Springsteen - All I’m Thinkin’ About
U2 - Peace on Earth
Peter Gabriel - Unlocking the Door
Caedmon’s Call - This World
Ryuichi Sakamoto - Ending Theme
Guillemots - We’re Here
The National - Secret Meeting
Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded
Radiohead - Let Down
Cush - The Smallest Part
Jim Gaffigan - Heaven
Hammock - Before the Celebration
Stars - Heart
DJ Shadow - Napalm Brain / Scatter Brain & Outro (Live)
Explosions in the Sky - Welcome, Ghosts
Ambulance Ltd - Heavy Lifting



does the music that plays on shuffle tell us anything about ourselves?

post your 20 below... or on your blog... or whatever...

Noticing Greatness in Others

Have you ever recognized the greatness in others? Have you then told that person that which you see in them?

my wife said something to me last nite that made me see that she saw the greatness in me. it was very meaningful. it got me to thinking, how often do we tell others about the greatness we see in them?

the next time you see greatness - tell them. i know that i have people i need to talk to - to let them know.

the beauty of it all is that God sees the greatness in us. we are not average. we are beautiful people.

enjoy: Peanut Butter Twix
and continue to check out our LENTEN BLOG.

thank you to Lilly Lewin for mentioning us in her blog post: Resources for Lent.

a season of lent

my wife + i have started a Lenten blog in which we plan on posting daily about all things related to this season of lent. i recently finished reading the book a Lenten Hobo Honeymoon
by Edward Hays. it has challenged me to look at lent as a spiritual journey... a journey in which the goal is to fall in love with Jesus all over again... at a whole new level... to reciprocate the love that God has for us.

orange lament {a.k.a. mourning the loss of a sweet friend}

apparently adults can develop food allergies later in life. at least that is what James Li says.

yesterday morning i indulged in my usual breakfast... which of course is no breakfast. but i did happen to grab a clementine or two from the fridge - to be eaten at my convenience. at my convenience - i indulged... immediately after downing two oranges - i was forced to eat a muffin from Dunkin Donuts. our secretary brought in a gun and held it to my head and made me eat a coffee cake muffin... which tasted strangely like a donut. they must fry the muffins in the same oil as the donuts.

immediately after eating, my mouth began to feel funny. the best way i could describe it is sort of a hybrid between the feeling of a sore throat - only in my mouth mixed with a strange itchy sensation with the added feeling that i had just eaten a bunch of Red Hots. I had not, in fact eaten any red hots.

deductive reasoning told me that there must have been something in the muffin that was causing such duress. the itching subsided after oh, about ten hours... or less... i lost track. it did, eventually go away.

today, for lunch i had some left over Papa Johns pizza. i gave my daughter a Clementine orange as part of her lunch. she ate half... so i, being the good father that i am - ate the other half. almost immediately i felt that same feeling as the day before.

"Ah ha!" i exclaimed! "it's gotta be the orange!"

so it appears that i am now allergic to oranges... or is it clementines? i may never know. i shall be too afraid to ever eat anything related to the lovely, delicious orange. parting is such sweet sorrow. i now know what Romeo must have felt when fair maiden Juliet was forbidden to be with him. i could take some Benadryl - but the last time i did that i was found nearly unconscious in a tent for the betterment of a day... missing out on the fun and sun and music of the Ichthus music festival.

what is the lesson learned? Don't Do Drugs.

spiritual lesson learned? Sometimes tasty, pretty things can kill you. (or at make your mouth itch)

I blame Adam.

snowblind

14 inches of snow... at least that is what i measured outside my front door. it's the most snow we've had around here in quite some time. often, after a blistering snowstorm, the cold arctic airs blows in and it's almost as if it's too cold to snow. today, the cold, dry air was bitter... single digit temperatures. the cloudless sky left us with nothing but frigid air and a bright sun magnified by the pure, white snow covering the ground.

snow blindness. the magnificent sun shines down upon a natural, earth-covered reflector blanket of snow. it can make your eyes do funky things... it can take several minutes for your eyes to adjust to the brightness and then back to any other alternative lighting.

the sun, such a beautiful object that provides so much for the inhabitants of this land - (light + warmth, nourishment, etc.) when mixed with white, pure snow becomes sort of toxic or damaging to the eyes. shielding or hiding the eyes is the only hope for relief.

sin is most often presented to us in bright + colorful ways; as a seemingly productive entity for our lives. we look at it with deceptive knowledge as if it will provide for us some sort of nourishment that will enhance our state of being. but when we surround ourselves with sin we struggle to differentiate between good + bad; light + dark; healthy + destructive. often, the extent of pain and destruction as a result of our sinful indulgence can not be noticed until later. much the same, symptoms of snow blindness don't always present themselves right away.

sin causes a sense of snow blindness. we can no longer see the sun... we can no longer see the Son.

the angel of light masks and morphs into many things... those things are nothing short of deceptive. if we take our eyes off of Jesus for even one second - we open ourselves up to a justification of actions that are not associated with Christ. we begin to look at an alternative 'light' that burns our retinas. that prolonged exposure to such a false light makes it more difficult to see the true light of Christ shining on the right path to righteousness.

there is no new revelation here. just a dangerous observation. as i hid my eyes from the extreme bright of sun + snow today, i couldn't help think about the spiritual side of being snow blind. the hard part - after giving in to temptation and being blinded by the damaging, deceptive light of sin - is crawling back into the spotlight that Christ has shown for us... even as his path is again revealed to us - our sin can be nothing short of exposed... the false light leads (ironically) to darkness - and that darkness can not stay hidden once we return to the all-encompassing light of Christ.

as lent approaches, may we all humbly walk back into the safe, warm, nurturing light of Jesus Christ. may we acknowledge defeat - and embrace victory... may we fail forward... into the arms of Jesus. His light takes away the jaundice of our sin. Fix your eyes on Him.



snow blindness

snowblind - 77's

angel of light - petra

whiter than

Things that Should Be Invented

A cake dispenser machine

A Machine that cuts your hair in your sleep

A national mermorial dedicated to the cast and crew of the movie 'The Goonies'


that's all i got so far... feel free to add your ideas...

{liner notes}

when i was in college - i attended this broadcasting convention as part of a class... i met a guy who was an album representative from a new upstart label, Gotee Records (current record label of the band Relient K). he gave me a sample disc... featuring songs from some of their debut artists. one of those artists was a band called Johnny Q. Public.
i really liked their sound... so when their debut album dropped later that summer - i snagged it with the quickness. it was (is) a great album titled Extra*Ordinary. In the liner notes, following a reprint of all lyrics and a slew of 'thank-you's', there was this final comment:



dig. be dug. and above all, peace on your head.
What does that mean?

such an obscure phrase... but i think it speaks volumes...

first of all: DIG.
Main Entry: ¹dig Pronunciation: 'dig Function: verb Inflected Form(s): dug /'d&g/; dig·ging Etymology: Middle English diggen transitive verb 1 a : to break up, turn, or loosen (as earth) with an implement b : to prepare the soil of <dig a garden> 2 a : to bring to the surface by digging : UNEARTH <dig potatoes> b : to bring to light or out of hiding <dig up facts> 3 : to hollow out or form by removing earth : EXCAVATE <dig a hole> 4 : to drive down so as to penetrate : THRUST 5 : POKE, PROD 6 a : to pay attention to : NOTICE <dig that fancy hat> b : UNDERSTAND, APPRECIATE dig the medical jargon> c : LIKE, ADMIRE dig short poetry -- David Burmester> intransitive verb 1 : to turn up, loosen, or remove earth 2 : to work hard or laboriously 3 : to advance by or as if by removing or pushing aside material

Dig means many things.
Spiritually speaking - we've gotta dig deep... deep within our soul - searching for the only thing that can fill that void in us... that God-shaped hole... that emptiness can only be fulfilled by God.












[painting by Eric Samuel Timm no1underground]


secondly: BE DUG.
"be dug." not exactly something you shout out to your friends when leaving their presence. not even proper spoken English. but what does it mean to 'be dug'? maybe it means allowing yourself to be vulnerable and exposed... to be real and honest before God... hiding nothing from the one who knows what is truly inside of us anyway...
Psalm 139:23-24 sez it like this...
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Be dug... maybe it also challenges us to be real with ourselves and with others. there is no room for fake plastic 'Christians' in the body of Christ. the Gospel of Jesus is truth & love & salvation. that Gospel, that good news, can not be gift wrapped and morphed into something less than real, honest, gut-wrenching truth. a sugar-coated gospel appeals to the short term craving of something that in the end will rot your soul. it does not satisfy.
be dug is to practice humility [the quality or state of being humble] before our God and all mankind.

be dug. be vulnerable. be real. allow God to search every part of you... then breathe deep the God of life.


This is what God the LORD says— he who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it...
Isaiah 42
[read more.]



[painting by Eric Samuel Timm no1underground]


finally: Peace on your head.
peace. a word eternally connected to its counterpart word... war. and yet our society reflects what is going on inside of each of us... a battle raging... the struggle to find peace and happiness... to get rid of the things that rage inside of us, tearing us apart, destroying us... our sins, struggles, temptations, memories, questions, confusion, regrets, etc... all are at war within...

only one can provide peace...God is in control. God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace. [more]


may the peace of Christ go with you. may it descend upon you like a dove. Through our digging and our being dug - may we find peace and may it rest upon our heads... [more. and more still.]


final thoughts:

lyrics from the alternative Christian band of the ages:



[band] The Prayer Chain [song] Dig Dug




It comes creepin...
Can you hear me?
Do you even know me?
I'm just like the rest
Need to stick my finger in your wrist

Dig in deep...
Can you hear my heart beat?
Do you even know my heart?
When i hold the doubts of Thomas
As hard as i hold your promise?
Dig in deep
and bury me

Let it grow

and now for something completely different