sometimes things just hit you. sometimes things just hit you in the head. sometimes its a revalation. other times its a brick.
alas. after reading day six of 12 days with Jesus it was suggested to take a walk. while walking one was to contemplate the difference between a disciple and an apostle. a disciple is 'one who follows'. an apostle is 'one who is sent'. i was torn a bit while contemplating. i've been having a bit of a dry spell as of late and a friend of mine, when i asked him what to do about it said "follow Jesus." but yet, i feel as though i have been given the reigns and have been sent to do a specific duty. in simple terms, i think that i can't fulfill my calling - that which i have been sent to do - if i am not, in essense, following Jesus. my perfection isn't perfect, but i yern... i strive to be the Godly example to my youth. i constantly seek guidance and direction and the Lord guides my steps and my speech.
maybe in some ways i feel a bit bolder. i don't want to mess around anymore. my energy is spent trying to teach and in return bring truth to areas where truth is being ignored.
sometimes leaders need to be led. that is what Jesus was stellar at. he led his disciples... preparing them for all things. they didn't always 'get it' right away but he spoke bold truth none the less. He empowered them. maybe - in the midst of my personal dry spell - i am looking for leadership in the wrong places. i expect to get it from some places but it does not come. i think once i find that source again - God will take my ministry to new heights... and opportunities that have never presented themselves will be plain as day.
i am taking a walk. i will not eat the darkness.
album of choice:
hammock - stranded under endless sky