micah's prayer

a few weeks back, my 5 year old son spent the weekend with grandma. he sat with her in church that sunday morning and as he is prone to do, got out his notebook and began to doodle.

last nite - i found that notebook. he had scribbled on one of the sheets the following prayer...


(below)










prayer.

O father,
let us love and be safe.
be your self's.
to believe from the cross of
heart to
the heart of
all.
we love you
forever
and ever
and ever.

a-men
father.

loving Jesus.

Go Buckeyes

the art of balance (possibly part two of two)

"but is perfect balance the end goal?"

i don't know that it is. certainly lots of things in our lives need balance and stability. being a parent, i realize that my children need a stable patterns of consistency.
but i don't want my quest for balance to become some sort of idol - that consumes my every being. i think my life should be more about values than balance. my values - hopefully rooted in Christ's solid foundation - determine what really matters to me. (thanks Marko for the inspiration for this).

in my quest for balance - those rare times when life is perfectly balanced, seem to be the times when i am standing still.

i don't want to be standing still.

the gymnast, in the spot light... on the beam, 4 and a half feet off the ground - she's only truly balanced when she is standing still. Standing still is not what a gymnast was designed to do. It's her movement that amazes.

Think of a teeter-totter: i remember when i was a kid, the cool thing to do was to walk up and then down a teeter-totter. when you got to the middle, you could balance it. life and faith are filled with many peaks and valleys... just like walking up and then down the sea-saw. Using sea-saw imagery, when you're on the ground, you have to walk up the plank to reach the sky. You'll have a moment of balance in the middle before heading down to the ground again. Balance comes in between your ups & downs. Then you repeat the process all over again...

i think that if i want to be a radical follower of Jesus, i don't think i cn have long periods of perfect balance. I don't know, maybe i'm wrong or contradicting my self... But i don't see the life of Christ and his example set as being balanced. Jesus didn't map out a 'to-do' list and he didn't seem to follow a daily agenda. He just was... always doing. being. serving. loving. I'm not saying we need to be irresponsible and that we can't plan things - i'm just saying the following Jesus should be our top priority.

We are called to be faithful to Jesus... sometimes during moments of balance - but mostly during moments of craziness.

My quest is to follow no matter what the circumstances. He can provide us stability - even in the midst of an the unbalanced reality of life.

luke 18:28-30
philippians 3:17-21

art of blanace. (possibly part one of two)

Imagine you're in the middle of a jam-packed arena. It's dark - but you are about to go on... for your performance. Center of the ring, there is a long shadowy plank. The spot light illuminates what proves to be a balance beam. 4 and a half feet off the ground. 4 inches wide. 5 meters long.

It's your turn. The crowd is chanting your name. Time to go on.

One problem. You are not a gymnast. You've never performed on a balance beam. ever. But your up. It's on. Time to do your best at something you know little or nothing about. You can't fake it. You can't balance. Especially with the spotlight shining on you.

What do you do?

Such it is with life and faith. Hard to balance. Hard to manage. Seems like the spotlight is always on us, too. Like everyone is watching. The thing is, that's kind of how it really is - at least for those who "claim" to be followers of Jesus. The world is watching - waiting for us to fall off the balance beam... to skrew up.

Balance is crucial... life. school. job. faith. How can we possibly balance it all?

Learning to balance.









But should perfect balance the end goal?

pro-life quote

a quote on election day from our local newspaper's website...

UPDATED 5:01 p.m. Sign-holder delivers personal message

Not everyone was out stumping for Sens. John McCain and Barack Obama on Tuesday.

For a few hours, Dustin White, 25, stood on Central Plaza South, holding up a handwritten sign: "What's So Pro-Life About Poverty, the Death Penalty And War?"

White, who also stood on the square on Monday with friends, said the provocative question has prompted reactions from passersby — both positive and negative.

"It's not about partisanship, it's about awareness. I'm a Christian," he said. "It's frustrating to see my faith being hijacked by a political party. ... 'Pro-life' goes beyond pregnancy. It's also about treating our neighbors right."

White, who attends City Hope Church, added that real change is not generated by political leaders, but by individuals coming together for a common cause.

let your voice be heard - vote

i waited 45 min to vote today. it felt good.





(click to enlarge)
photo by me / downtown pittsbugh / nov 2, 2008

God? Are You Out There?

An Old Fav...
still fresh...

Random Update

Random update of events... cuz you needed to know...

1. you may have noticed (or not) some subtle updates to the blog design. I've added to the LEFT COLUMN more 'Listening To' images as well as what i'm 'Reading' as of late and a few images and links to recent 'Netflix' rentals (with brief description and rating).

Also, i organized my links and put all text related/random info in the RIGHT COLUMN.

headers are embossed in black, now, too. I suppose other subtle updates will be made in the near future.

2. if you don't know, i'm a Youth Director in northeast Ohio. we call our group the Alien Uth (hard sounding 'U' as in 'Youth'). We recently created a new website that i keep updated quite frequently. Check it out: www.alienuth.com

Lots of cool stuff there... podcasts, music related reviews, devotionals, events, videos, etc. check it out.


3. I recenty checked out Hot Fuzz from the library. Talk about a man's movie! one of the few cop-driven movies to come out of England - it stars Simon Pegg and was created by the same team that did Shaun of the Dead. I thouroghly enjoyed it... watched it in high def with headphones on - cuz my wife didn't want to watch it or hear it.

It's got a good story... good comedic elements... good acting... good action... and some blood, too. Well made. If you are a guy - you need to see it... but your wife may not want to.







4. I recently wrapped up my first season as soccer coach of my sons U-6 team. Although we don't technically keep score in this league - my team, the Jaguar Cats, finished the season really well. We got a lucky draw in the draft and happened to have a lot of the best players and the best overall team.

I really enjoyed it and now have the itch to coach some more. I would love to keep the same team together next year as we'll all move up to U-8. I know that is wishful thinking. But it was a great e
experience.

The team excelled at shielding the ball and keeping pressure on the opponents defense - but their favorite thing in the world was yelling their cheer before each game...

1...2...3...Go Jaguar Cats!








5. last - but not least... i haven't formally mentioned this on the blog - but my wife and i are expecting baby #3 sometime in the spring. We are excited and God truly has blessed us. Jen is 12 weeks along. Our kids and the youth girls are super excited!

read more about it here...

Lazy Eye (an experiment in free expression)

notes related to the song
Lazy Eye - Silversun Pickups

The other day, i was in Starbucks, and I had my iTunes on shuffle when one of my favorite songs of the moment came on, Lazy Eye by the Silversun Pickups. as i listened to the opening guitar riff, i opened up Word and decided to type down whatever thoughts came to mind as i listened. I’ve done this before a time or two… i call it FREE EXPRESSION. i find that Free Expression helps me connect with my inner being and as a result - i often write down things that inspire me. it can definately be a time for me to connect with God. (i’ve posted my Lazy Eye-inspired thoughts below)

At Coffee Talk (a youth gathering that meets every 6 weeks as part of our youth ministry) on Sunday, October 19th, the Senior High group talked about ways in which we can connect with God in the midst of our busy lives. At the end, i played this song - and asked them to free their minds and just allow God to speak to them - not necessarily through the lyric - but through the rhythms.

(i challenge you to try this with any song)

...my thoughts

FREE EXPRESSION… from 10.10.08

Waiting.

Thinking that someday things will be perfect. It never seems to happen. Or does it? Have i missed it? Have I missed the perfection? has my lazy eye – my imperfection got the best of me? Or has my perception of perfection changed?

Wanting silence. Its too loud. Too much chaos. To many distractions… but I like it… deep down I do. Sadly I do. But really – I crave silence. A time to be alone with my thoughts. But no time.

So I move on.

The music plays. The rhythms come and go. I miss the beat. Feel like I am missing out on something greater. I want to be a part of something greater. I really do.

Gotta get my chance. Gott move.

But the song continues without me. Is it possible for the song to lead to silence? That is backwards, it would seem. The rhythm would lead to more rhythm, no? or is it possible for the rhythm to lead to peace. Can rhythm be a part of my silence?

Like is shawshank redemption? Is the music in my heart and mind? Is that the real rhythm I crave? A rhythm found in the slilence? That rthym giving off hope? Hope that there is something better… something majestic out there for me to encounter?

Where does that hope come from, I need to ask.

Lost in the feedbck of guitars. Symbolic of my life. Lost in the feedback and chaos of life.

Kinda like being lost…. Deep down I hope it will lead me somewhere… out of the darkness of the forest… out of the trees to a green patch of terrain – filled with lilies and beautiful flowers.

That is the hope of rhythm that I crave.

God is there, I feel it.

(notes – free expression while listening to Lazy Eye – by the Silversun Pickups – 9:46am – oct 10, 2008 – starbucks @ washington square.)

Zidane: attentive to more than the game

this is a clip from the documentary film Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait.

as an avid soccer fan and a former player (and now coach) i have always appreciated the art of the game. soccer or futball has been referred to as the 'beautiful game'.

Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait was filmed in real time with 17 synchronized cameras - following every move of Zinedine Zidane - the World & Euro Cup champion player from France.

I have yet to see this film in its entirety - as it has not been released on DVD in America yet. I hope that one day it does. But this clip from YouTube is beautiful to me for many reasons.

for one, it is neat to see how aware he is as he plays... how things are intensified... how immersed he is as he plays. His keen awareness says a lot about the human condition, i think - and what we are capable of.

i think his awareness to the game and his surroundings is a distinct parallel to one's potential awareness to the movement of the Spirit around them each and every day. Are you aware?

enjoy.



tell me what you think.



---

post script: i forgot to mention that Mogwai did the soundtrack to the film - and it is just as beautiful. (i got it from eMusic a lot cheaper than amazon)

also - here is the trailer to the film:

In Rainbows (1 year later)

it's been a year since Radiohead did something that to my knowledge had never been done. In Rainbows was available to download - for a fee of whatever the consumer wanted to pay. i don't know how many people downloaded it at the time and i don't know how much money they made - but i'm guessing it was enough.

the album was a breath of fresh air in a time when much in the music world had gone stale.

it wasn't necessarily the best thing ever - but the approach that Radiohead took was sheer genius. it made the listener important again... like they were part of the band or something.

this was made evident when Radiohead released 6 different stems of the song Nude and then Reckoner available for purchase on iTunes - so that the song could be remixed by one and all. for Mac users - GarageBand files of the songs were part of the deal - so that the remixer could literally take apart every segment of the song and rearange it.

i blogged about my first reaction to In Rainbows about a year ago. my reaction today is much the same.

it's been my most played album (by far) over the past year - some songs from the album have been played on iTunes over 65 times.

I can't wait to see what comes next from Radiohead.

on an island of musings and lyric... a song abounds.

i've been waiting
i've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right

It is now time to make it unclear
To write off lines that don't make sense

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I'm not here
This isn't happening

meaningless
it's all meaningless
all my life and labor is foolish
and now i don't have a reason anymore

Get sick, get well
Hang around a ink well
Ring bell, hard to tell
If anything is goin' to sell

I know what you mean,

when you want to run to meet the world,

intentions may not carry you far.

Small planes are here

but they never leave my room at all,

they don’t make it through,

they don’t make it out.

I need a place
That's hidden in the deep
Where lonely angels sing you to your sleep
Though all the world is broken

Twenty-five miles or thousands of miles,

when am I going to leave here?

because Bob Dylan had something to say 45 years ago...

A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall

Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, where have you been, my darling young one?
I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains,
I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways,
I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests,
I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans,
I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, what did you see, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what did you see, my darling young one?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it,
I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin',
I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin',
I saw a white ladder all covered with water,
I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken,
I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son?
And what did you hear, my darling young one?
I heard the sound of a thunder, it roared out a warnin',
Heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world,
Heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin',
Heard ten thousand whisperin' and nobody listenin',
Heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin',
Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter,
Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, who did you meet, my blue-eyed son?
Who did you meet, my darling young one?
I met a young child beside a dead pony,
I met a white man who walked a black dog,
I met a young woman whose body was burning,
I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow,
I met one man who was wounded in love,
I met another man who was wounded with hatred,
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what'll you do now, my darling young one?
I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin',
I'll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest,
Where the people are many and their hands are all empty,
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters,
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison,
Where the executioner's face is always well hidden,
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten,
Where black is the color, where none is the number,
And I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it,
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it,
Then I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin',
But I'll know my song well before I start singin',
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Copyright ©1963; renewed 1991 Special Rider Music

_

give us the strength to remember that life is very fragile.
we are all vulnerable... and we will all at some point in our lives... fall.
we will all fall.
we must carry this in our hearts - that what we have is special.
that it can be taken from us... and that when it is taken from us, we will be tested.
we will be tested to our very souls.
we will now all be tested.
it is these times, it is this pain, that allows us to look inside ourselves
so that we may be one.

one more for the road (and just for fun)

maybe sometimes cheese is good. perhaps Five Iron Frenzy (who i once interviewed in the back of a school bus in a vacant parking lot next to a whig shop in downtown canton, ohio) understood the necessity that is 'cheese'. Cheeses of Nazareth was a smash hit.

with that in mind, i give you this video. enjoy this 100%, all-natural cheese log... straight up gouda.
feel free to dance.

proof that there are many people out there that are not like me - yet we're supposedly on the same team...

thoughts while watching the sunrise from the parking lot of a shopping complex PART 2

[on friday morning, August 15 i took my sister to the airport at 6am - so that she could catch a flight back home to Portland, Maine. rather than driving all the way home - i decided to 'kill' some time early in the morning until 9:30am - when i had to pick up something from Best Buy. i had over 3 hours to fill and i was really tired because i stayed up late the night before watching the Olympics. the following is PART TWO of "Free Expression" writing. i decided to look for potential God moments as I sat inside a Starbucks.]

Sitting in Starbucks now. The atmosphere is inviting. Jovial. Sunny. Literally. The morning sun is shining in through the pane of glass. Old soul music flares up over the speakers above my head.

Already I am allowing myself to get distracted from the surroundings. Trying to get on their internet connection.

Let me take a moment to observe.
Original art pieces decorate the walls. Cd’s for sale next to coffee in bags. Architecture that is edgy and clean. Promotional materials. Baristas… with green aprons… no one with the coveted black one. People walking in and out… one woman with a baby. Now a line has formed. Outside of the windows – sitting in the sun are a number of patrons. One woman is reading the newspaper. Four old men sit outside with their coffee conversing about football or the weather or politics or what ever. A co-worker adds supplies to the closet. A business man works hard crunching numbers. “have a big order? Call ahead. 330-494-0454” “Komodo Dragon = $13.45/lb. On my wobbly table sits a vase with a plastic banana in it. There must be some sort of jungle theme going on here as a paper mache monkey resembling Curious George sits on a display case.

I can pick up a number of pay-to-use wifi signals. TA truck stop is across the highway and I can pick it up here. T-Mobile here at starbucks and Att net.

Different people talk on their cell phone. It’s early for that. 7:53 now.

Where is God in this moment?
In the conversation.
In the contemplative thought of the man in the oversized comfy chair.
In the music that plays.
In the inner-tangling of my cords… ear buds and apple power adapter.
In the Rob Bell video I am now watching.
In the sun that shines through onto my fingertips.
In the slow, quiet walk I envision doing when I get home..
In the beauty of every person who walks though the door.
In the Vivanno Nourishing Blend non-smoothie that provides energy and protein and fiber powder and whole banana.
In my Peppermint mocha that my wife introduced me to – therefore hooking me on coffee blends mostly from Starbucks… and sometimes Speedway.
In the word ‘Sacrifice.’
In the act of obeying God that Abraham shown us.
In the contemplative thought of the man in the oversized comfy chair who is now sleeping.
In the palm tree.
In the art and the music. In the architecture. In the refection that I see with my peripheral vision. A truck just drove by. A person enters. Reflections… reflect.
Beauty.

Here We Go Steelers, Here We Go!

thanks for the link, troy.

thoughts while watching the sunrise from the parking lot of a shopping complex PART 1

[on friday morning, August 15 i took my sister to the airport at 6am - so that she could catch a flight back home to Portland, Maine. rather than driving all the way home - i decided to 'kill' some time early in the morning until 9:30am - when i had to pick up something from Best Buy. i had over 3 hours to fill and i was really tired because i stayed up late the night before watching the Olympics. the following is PART ONE of "Free Expression" writing. i decided to look for potential God moments as i parked my car in a parking lot minutes before dawn.]



The world is watching. To my left, out the car window, sitting in the parking lot at the Strip, a major shopping complex in northwest stark county, are a number of video surveillance cameras. Watching. Me. I almost didn’t notice.

They are always there. We go on in our daily lives… we don’t even notice. But they are everywhere. My life is too busy to notice.

The oher day – while on vacation, my son, micah and I were riding around lakeside in a glof cart. It was early evening… and he noticed something that we don’t often hear… a chirping noise… almost musical, he called the sound. “what is it?”

Crickets, I said.

We had a conversation about crickets. Why do they make music? Where are they? Are they nocturnal? Yeah – he used the words nocturnal. How did he know that word? Are they nocturnal like skunks? Why do skunks stink?

We went to the cottage and went to bed.

A day or two or three later, I had long forgotten about the cricket conversation. When micah asked me again about crickets. I told him, we have already talked about this. He said, in the middle of the day, mind you, again about crickets.

Why do you ask? I said. “Because I hear one but it’s not night time.” He forgot to go to bed.

Crickets. Always around us. Making music. Mostly at night. But not always.
They are all around us… making music…
but we don’t hear it. It blends in with the rest of the chaos that is around us.

The music is all around us.

Are we tuned in to the wrong frequency?



God is all around us. Watching us. Trying to get our attention.

a passage of time

Players from Sam Javanrouh on Vimeo.